Rest and Restore

I have returned from an awesome weekend! I went with a friend to a quiet peaceful cabin on a beautiful island. The minute we walked into the cabin we could just feel the peacefulness of the cabin enfold us, we stood where we were and breathed. The weekend was full of quietness, reading books, journaling, prayers, meditation and the sharing of stories. Time was spent walking the beaches, exploring the trails and just being in awe over nature and creation.

I arrived at the island tired, my mind full of work and family items. I left the island feeling restored and rested. It has made me realize how important it is in life to slow down to just be quiet and still our minds. We all need to find time to remove ourselves from the stress and busyness of life, to escape from all of the television, computers and electronic gizmos that occupy so much of our time.  There is so much going on around us that we never have time to just be with our thoughts and feelings, to sink deep within ourselves and find out who we are. 

Now being back at work for the last two days and out every evening, I sit here and take the time to close my eyes and put myself back into the quiet cabin, down at the beach listening to the peaceful waves coming to shore, walking the trails amongst the ferns and trees in the forest...and I deeply breathe.  Remembering the sounds and feelings can still bring me peace, and quiet my rambling mind.

You don’t have to really go away to find all of these things, it is much easier when we are away but we can do all this in our own home towns. It takes a lot of self control to shut off the television and the computer, to take ourselves outdoors and experience the tranquility that nature has to offer us, to sit quietly meditating, to journal and to breathe deeply, but it can be done. I hope I can do this, give myself the time each week to rest and restore but I know my self discipline is going to need a lot of work. It won’t be easy nor near as much fun as this past weekend was but I feel it will be well worth the effort.

I am so thankful for this past weekend, for friendships, for the ocean waves, the quiet forests ...I feel so blessed to have had this time. Life is such a gift and so are special friends.

Mystery in Life

There is so much mystery in life. We live our whole life with questions, which will never be answered. How was the world created? Is there a God or many Gods? When will we die? Why do we die? It is all a big mystery. Sometimes it would be nice to know the answers, to be able to see what lies ahead but I think if we did we would become very bored. It is in the questions that we seek to learn and to grow, to explore new ideas and adventures.

Over these past few months many friends have lost a parent...they were elderly and ready to go but still losing a loved one is painful. In the next four days we will be celebrating the lives of three members of our congregation....some were elderly, the other stricken with cancer too young to die. In all of this there’s no reasoning. One just has to accept what has happened and carry on. Bad things do happen to good people. And the “why” question remains unanswered.  I myself believe in God the creator, in God who loves all people and wants what is best for us. However I don’t believe God has control over all that happens here in this world. I can’t believe that because a loving God would never let children die, wars happen or see so many people go hungry or be abused. I grew up hearing my Dad say “nothing is fair in this old world so you better get used to it” and he was right. Much about life isn’t fair. Why should some have so much, why do some have so little? Why do some live unhealthy lifestyles and live to be 100 while others who eat well and exercise, are stricken down in their youth?

So life remains a mystery and we all just carry on the best we can, caring for each other, this world and all those who live in it. Sometimes it gets hard, we pray for answers that don’t come. I guess we just need to live with the questions, continue to seek the answers and enjoy the journey along the way....but sometimes...it gets tough. It really is a mystery.

Apparently I'm Fat!

Two weeks ago I joined a gym along with a few friends. I have never liked gyms and never even thought seriously about exercising.  I have always walked with friends and kept active so I felt there was no need to go to a gym. I had tried it years ago and quickly quit BUT this time around it has been different. The place isn’t busy, the walls not covered in mirrors and I can just let myself in anytime and do my own thing. It has been fun comparing points etc with friends and having a small fun competition. Yesterday it all changed. I went for my physical fitness/health test. I must admit I was very nervous...I didn’t like the idea of having someone watch me doing the exercises but she was very kind and lots of fun. In many ways I did better than I had hoped.  The news she gave me afterwards was not so great.

Apparently I’m fat!  Now to many this probably is not shocking but to someone who grew up with the nick name “Skinny Linny” it is rather devastating to have someone tell you, you are fat.  24 hours later I have decided I really don’t like it much. The thing is, I love food. For years I have been surrounded by people who eat vegetables and are all into their health. I have rebelled because I feel life is too short to go around worrying about what you are eating. I’ll admit there is so much “junk” in the food these days that I shouldn’t be eating it but I figure it is a bit late now to start fretting about it. I love my chips and icecream and there is nothing better after a meal that a little snack of an Oreo cookie to just sweeten the taste.

If nothing else this has made me have great compassion for the overweight children in the world. How horrid it must be to have kids teasing you and calling you fat. I feel very blessed that all my young life I could eat whatever I wanted and never had to worry about weight until now. I ran into my daughter today and told her that I really didn’t like being called fat and she chuckled and replied that she could tell that. I guess I have been grumbling nonstop since yesterday afternoon.

So I sit writing this while my veggies are cooking ready for my dietary dinner. I really doubt this is going to help me lose the 15 pounds required so that I am no longer labelled “fat”. Two years ago I weighed 20 pounds more than I do now. I got serious and quickly lost the weight. I know I still have more to lose and I have tried over this past year on and off to lose weight and haven’t lost a pound. Salads for my lunches, veggies for dinner and no potato chips...nothing changed so I went back to eating the way I like to enjoying my comfort food.

The thing is, I signed up for 6 months of torture with this personal trainer and promised her that I would change my attitude, my lifestyle and lose the weight. She would give me guidance and exercises that supposedly will decrease my waistline (which now is the same measurement as my chest and almost the same as my hips). I appear to be tube shaped! I really am not so sure I want to do this though. Now that I know I can’t eat my comfort food it is all I crave. I am afraid the word “fat” has taken away the fun of going to the gym and the little competition but I suppose I shall get over it soon and carry on.

Really though is it all that important? Life is so short...I am so past the half way point. Shouldn’t we all just be making the most of the time we have here and enjoy it and the wonderful food life has to offer? Yes it may cause us to become ill or die too soon but it really seems to be the luck of the draw as way too many health conscious people still die from diseases. Time will tell I suppose...and in the meantime I will once again try to eat healthy and exercise more but I want everyone to know I am not happy about this and I have never felt so fat before in my life.