A Gift

I was given a gift last night....a very special gift that has touched me deeply inside my soul.

I was given the gift of being with a dear woman as she passed from this life onto the next. It has taught me so much about life. How precious life is, how extraordinary this world is and how loving God is. I had heard how beautiful death was. I couldn’t imagine how it possibly could be, until last night.

I think the beauty starts in the comfort and prayers that others give to those dying. Gone are the restrictions that would normally hold a person back. Feelings are shown and shared. Tears freely flow down your cheeks.  A shared caring for another person is put before anything else. The dying are cared for with dignity and grace. They are wrapped in love with prayers and blessings from so many, near and far. There seems to be a knowing within them.

Our bodies are wondrously made. I have often been amazed by their complexity. Last night I was shown how our bodies are truly vessels that God has given to us, for our use here in this world. They are not who we are but simply the containers that hold our spirit and our souls. When our bodies tire and wear out, with age or illness, they simply stop working. The vessel remains but deep inside, our souls are released and fly free from this place into whatever lies ahead in a beautiful indescribable way.

Today I sat on a mountain top looking over this beautiful world that we are so blessed to have. The wind softy blew across my face and I remembered. I remembered the fun I had shared with this wonderful woman, the laughs, the trials as her body and mind slowly wore out, and the care we had given each other in so many different ways. I am not sure she knew what a gift she has been to me or how honoured I feel to have shared the last minutes of her life with her, such a gift from her family to me. Her soul peacefully left the beautiful vessel that had carried her for over 93 years. And so today, as I watched the wind blow through the clouds and trees, I could feel her spirit so free from pain and suffering, blowing with the wind.

A courageous, loving and giving woman, who has given me and so many others such wonderful gifts of care and love is now with God. I shall miss her, yet it so many ways we are still together. We are not alone, we live in God’s world, here on earth and life beyond death. She flies on.

Bossy

Bossy–adjective, boss·i·er, boss·i·est.

given to ordering people about; overly authoritative; domineering.

I was 9 years old when I overheard a conversation between our neighbour and my Mom...she was telling my Mom how my friend didn’t want to play anymore with me today because I was being too bossy. My cat had given birth to kittens and we were playing with them through the fence and I suppose I had been telling him in my “bossy manner” what he could and could not do with the kittens. I remember the day clearly. I didn’t like being called “bossy”. I felt it was a bad thing (and I still believe it is) and so I tried to change my ways.

When I was 21 my supervisor said to me “Linda you were born to be a leader but for some reason you keep insisting on being a follower”. I have never forgotten her words. In most ways she was correct. I like to lead, to organize things, be in control and well frankly just do things my way. So I guess this can be labelled as being bossy. Even though I know this is how I am, I am not sure I really like it.

Yesterday my “new boss” pretty much told the world ( in a kind manner) that I have been “bossing him around”. At 48, I still don’t like the label. I don’t mean to be bossy and honestly just thought I was helping him find his way. Inside of me there is still that 9 year old, who now has her arms crossed over and says “bossy eh, well fine. I shan’t tell you what to do this week and shall just stand by and watch you flounder along on your own. We’ll all see how that goes”. (haha) But thankfully I have grown up (a bit).This morning, as I once again awakened too early, I laid there thinking of all the things I need to prepare this morning at work.  I suppose I shall get things printed off and ready for the week before his arrival in the office. I will act professionally and try to keep that 9 year old behaviour under control. I am sure we will share a laugh over this before the day is out, and so I shall continue to guide him in the right direction... but maybe just a bit more gently?

Changes

I have never been one to adjust to changes easily. I like things to remain as they are ...known and safe. I lived in the same home throughout my childhood, went to school with the same friends, and attended the same church. Since reaching adulthood I have had many many changes especially over these last 10 years. I really thought I had adjusted to changes in my life, was more open to change, but this week has shown me that I have not.

Where I work we are sharing in a great adventure. My colleagues have gone off to Scotland for five weeks on a work exchange and the Scotland folks have come here to work. They are all wonderful people and this experience will not only be enjoyable for everyone involved but also a great learning experience. We hope that after these five weeks we will stay connected to one another and continue on with friendship and our shared faiths.

And they leave.......

So Tuesday I said farewell to my dear friends and workmates and a few hours later welcomed our new friends from Scotland. There has been much laughter and stories shared. We are learning each other’s language...although we both speak English the meanings for words we use are not always the same over there. Here we “greet” people and have “greeters” at our door. In Scotland greeting means to be weeping or sobbing. So we are learning about each other and laughing as we go along.



And from Scotland they arrive....

My friends have arrived in Scotland and will be meeting their new colleagues today. From what I have heard I believe they will struggle more with the different language than we are here. I believe they will return enriched from this journey they are on.

So in amongst all of this I have been unable to sleep. I have been tearful. My nursing pal says I am just missing my friends (who will be back before I know it) and that I just don’t adjust to change well. I think she is probably right. Things are going to be different and I am prepared and yet I seem to be overwhelmed by it all.

It’s going to be interesting and I plan to be very mindful of my emotions and feelings over these next few weeks, the laughter and the tears. I am intrigued by my reactions to this wonderful adventure.

So.....I shall carry on, try to embrace the change, enjoy the fun and hopefully find sleep soon!!! LOL