Decisions

I have never been very good at making decisions or making up my mind about what I want in life. Keeping things the same is easy, making changes never is but neither come with guarantees. In life there are no guarantees that you will be happy, that things will continue to carry on and life will be great.

I have been thinking about some things in my life this past month or so but never really making any moves towards making a decision. Time is running out. If I want things to change I need to do it very soon. So today I thought I better really get moving on this and so who better to ask for guidance but God. Now where to find God was the next step.

I laughed as I thought of the differences between the two people who offer me guidance in life. One says I need to mediate daily for at least 20 minutes to help me reflect on life, the other one believes movement out in nature brings you closer to God.  So there I was another decision to make in order to try and make some decisions.  Part of me was pulled towards climbing up the mountain to the cross, always a comforting place for me, another idea was to head to the beach, my old decision making place and  the other idea was to mediate, something I used to do daily but have not really practiced faithfully in 7 years.

Well the weather wasn’t great, my “rescue” people were probably out of town so the hike to the cross idea was dismissed.  The ocean beach, well it is not as close, the gas tank is low so forget that idea and besides it is very windy out. So I decided to go for a walk/run around the neighbourhood and try the “out in nature idea”. It went well but no decision was made as I returned home so I decided to mediate for 20 minutes, and after 15 very restless minutes I gave that up as there still was nothing.

My two attempts at getting close to God for an answer have me laughing at myself. I know I don’t need to do any of these things, that God is always right here within and around me. So you know what? I decided I don’t have to make any decisions. Whatever is meant to be will happen.  I shall just trust God to know what is best and well if in four months from now I am kicking myself, it won’t be because I made a wrong choice, it will be for just letting things be and not paying attention to what God called me to do.

So after spending the afternoon contemplating what decision to make, which pathway to take, I am going to do what I always do and well, do nothing and pray that it all turns out well for everyone involved. Hopefully this way no one will be hurt, everyone, including myself will feel useful and fulfilled, and life will be good.

Now for a movie, popcorn and an ice-cream float...so much better than decision making!