Kindness and Living a Compassionate Life

What is kindness? Well if you look it up it seems to mean the act of being kind, good and charitable behaviour. It is also known as a virtue in many cultures and religions. Maybe that is why being kind is something most of us strive for and what we would like to be known for. It isn’t always so easy.

I have been trying to be a kind person for most of my life and a lot of the time my actions can be kind. They say that kindness is having a pleasant disposition and concern for others. Now mostly I feel I am pleasant and I care so much about people, my family, my friends and others that I meet or hear about. Research has shown that acts of kindness do not only benefit receivers of the kind act, but also the giver. When such acts are committed they cause the release of neurotransmitters which give us feelings of contentment and relaxation. It all sounds so good and I believe it is true. When I help others through my work I feel good about who I am and what I have done. There is a warm feeling in my heart. Unfortunately I don’t seem to take it any further.

Compassion I feel is taking kindness one step further. Living a life of compassion is always doing the right thing, thinking of others, acting on those thoughts and putting others first. Feeling compassion for others isn’t enough, it takes action to live a compassionate life.

This world is full of people with multiple homes, multiple luxuries and more food that they could possibly eat in a day. Professional athletes and movie and music stars get paid millions per year for sharing the gifts God has given them. Our society worships these stars and is willing to pay good money in order to watch them perform. The people in government get paid top dollar for running the “business” side of countries.

In this world over a billion people are without homes, millions of people go hungry every day, and children die from starvation and illnesses that easily could be prevented with the right medical care. We live in a world so full of riches, and yes those riches are held by so few. Where are their hearts? Where is their compassion?  Where is mine? Life is so full of injustice, as my Dad always says to me “nothing is fair in this old world”, and he is so right

If we all lived lives of compassion there wouldn’t be such a thing as poverty. All children would have homes, warm meals and live lives full of happiness. Young adults wouldn’t be sent to fight wars and all people could live a life of peace.  It really is all so very possible, it just takes every single person to live a life of love, kindness and compassion. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if everyone woke up tomorrow and felt called to share all that they had with others, that the wars ceased and we lived a life of peace. We all can make it happen.

This planet we live on is so full of beauty and riches that go beyond anyone’s imagination. It’s such a shame that so few respect it and so few get to enjoy it. There is enough in this world for everyone to share in it's riches. All things are possible and maybe, just maybe one step at a time we will get there. It can begin acts of kindness towards others, it can move into a life of compassion, it can with faith move forward into a world of justice for all. We must have hope.

 

Self Imposed Challenge Accomplished

It’s Boxing Day, a day which could be a day of rest after the hectic day of Christmas. I had planned to spend today visiting with my son and daughter in law but found out yesterday that the visit would be postponed until tomorrow. A nice day at home would be welcomed. Except last night, I felt I had been challenged.

I had a wonderful Christmas day visiting with my parents and some close friends. We shared the dinner meal together and afterwards the women visited while the two men graciously cleaned up the kitchen and did all the dishes. My friends are great outdoors people and spend every free moment out running, hiking and kayaking. Thankfully they do invite me to tag along on many occasions. Last night my friend mentioned to my parents that I was jealous of their adventure of hiking to the cross, a favourite hike of mine. He was right. I am jealous. I hope my friend realizes how blessed he is in life to be married to his soul mate, his best friend and his hiking and kayaking partner. I love to hike but unfortunately I am on my own and don’t have a hiking partner to enjoy the outdoors with. I do hike solo from time to time but in doing so have to endure lectures from family and friends on being a woman alone on the trails. Over the last few months I have tried to hike to the cross on my own but each time have turned around due to my fears, the wind in the trees, the thought of a bear, or the quietness in the woods. However after last night’s innocent comment some part of me felt challenged. Challenged to show that I don’t need him to hike to the cross with, that I am quite capable of getting there on my own...snow and all.

It was a great day to hike. I decided I could try out some of my new hiking attire and also try a mix in my water that I had been given as gifts for Christmas. After last Saturday’s hike this time I was prepared for snow on the trail. Heading up there wasn’t as much snow as I had anticipated but there were many small lakes, rushing creeks and fallen trees to make the going interesting and challenging. I followed the footprints in the snow and mud, carefully trying to advoid as much water as possible. I reached the point where the quiet stillness in the trees usually has me turning for home but I carried on singing out loud to keep myself company. I was determined to reach the cross, after all, I had a point to makeJ. Reaching the Y in the trail I decided to go the usual route, turning right even though the number of foot prints were less in this direction. At least one person though had gone this way sometime earlier in the day. It was so quiet and peaceful, there was only the sound of the water running down the path and through the little streams.



The cross surrounded by winter snow

Finally after 45 minutes I reached my destination, the cross. It was beautiful up there alone. Looking down one could only see low clouds or fog and very little of the landscape below. The quietness gave me a very deep quiet spiritual feeling and as I turned to head down the back trail I looked up at the cross and said a brief prayer to God. This time praying a somewhat selfish prayer, a prayer for myself which I don’t often do, but it was so “magical” up there I was draw to whisper out loud my “wish”.

A foggy mystical view

Heading down there was so much water that I actually had to step right into the creeks and there were places where the trail seemed to disappear from being covered by huge fallen trees. Thankfully there were the footsteps in the snow to follow. Coming down I met three different groups of folks heading up. None of them dressed as warmly as myself, one even in cloth sneakers. I must admit they had me feeling a little over dressed but better safe than sorry is my motto when hiking alone and for that reason I was taking the less steep route on return.

Where did the trail go?

Reaching the car, I felt grateful for the morning and so very thankful for my new hiking shoes. I purchased these a month ago on the advice of my very knowledgeable outdoor friends and my outdoorsy daughter. They are the best. They are comfortable, and dry. I have hiked through puddles, creeks, 4 inches of snow and not once have my feet gotten wet. Definitely the best shoes I have ever owned.

I am now home, and I must admit feeling a little silly for allowing my buttons to be pushed, but glad that I made the journey and didn’t let my fears turn me back. Life is full of fears and challenges, some very small, others huge and some self imposed but when they are met or achieved they can give one a feeling of success.

Happy Boxing Day! New Years Day coming up next and I wonder what challenges 2013 will bring..and will my whispered prayer be heard?

A Very Different Christmas

It is the night before Christmas! It’s a time of excitement and joy as we wait in anticipation for the birth of Christ and the arrival of St. Nick. Christmas has always been a very exciting time in my life, yet usually with lots of stress in the preparation of having the "perfect family holiday." This year however things are so different. I noticed weeks ago that I had no angst this year in trying to gather the children on the "right day". They are all coming at different times and on different days and I have been amazed that I am not upset by the fact that we won’t all be together on Christmas day. The gifts were bought early before my holiday, leaving just a few stocking items to pick up and that was quickly done weeks ago. It just isn't my nature to be so laid back about the holiday. Even in the planning of cooking Christmas dinner with my parents and having friends come over and share the meal with us is not causing me any stress or lack of sleep. A year or two ago it would have sent me over the top I am sure but this year somehow it all just seems so simple and I know all shall just be as it is and it will be good.

Along with the calmness of the holiday is the knowledge that I am surrounded by sadness. So many people I know, friends and acquaintances are struggling over different things in their lives. They all seem to be coping and dealing with whatever life has presented, but I seem to be so sad, grieving over all of their losses. My heart hurts for them all and once again I question why am I so blessed in my life to feel so content and happy, living in a time when my life feels perfect. I wish I could "fix" things so that everyone was feeling the Christmas joy and that we would laugh together. Life is strange and there are no answers to the whys. It is that time of year when we almost expect good things to happen but that doesn’t seem to be the case this year. There are so many losses. Losses of family, losses of friends, losses of purpose, losses of health, fears of what the future will be, it seems to be a time of grief. My tears flow daily with the sadness and the feeling of helplessness. Maybe it just comes with being part of a faith community, there is more closeness, more sharing, along with the love and compassion, there are more tears. With the tears hopefully comes healing and a sense of acceptance to whatever is to come as the new year approaches. A new year in which we can move forward in life and hopefully be able to embrace all that life has to offer us.

Tonight when I attend church as I try to contain my tears, I will think of tomorrow, the family and friends I will share the day with, the good food I will eat, the gifts we will exchange and I will be so very thankful for being blessed with such wonderful people to journey through my life with. It will be Christmas, my very favourite day of the year. Christmas, the birthday of Jesus, who came to us and taught us such valuable lessons, is also a time to grieve together, a time to laugh together and a time to be thankful for all of God’s blessings.

Solitude, Nature and Being in the Moment

It’s three days before Christmas, the gifts are all bought and wrapped, the decorations are up, so all that was left was some grocery shopping and the cleaning. Awakening this morning at 6:15 I was soon up and off to the gym, immediately followed by grocery shopping to beat the crowds. Arriving home by 8 am I began on the housecleaning, planning ahead to a day of relaxing on the couch watching Christmas movies. As I cleaned though the plans seemed to change and at 10:30 am with the house looking passable, I dressed in my hiking clothes, grabbed a snack and by 11 am headed up the Trans Canada Trail. My plan was to walk to the old Chinese Cemetery, out near where I used to live. My daughter thought it would be too far, at least 90 minutes one way but I felt a good three hour hike would be great. What I didn’t count on was the snow. The trail in amongst the trees was covered in icy crunchy snow. With every step forward I would slide a bit backwards, my hike was going to be a challenge. I continued on my way admiring the beautiful forest trees, noticing the odd brownish leave still clinging to it’s tree branch, and listening to the wonderful sound of the rushing water in the nearby creek. It was a time of solitude and a time to reflect on life and just be in the moment.

Looking ahead down the long snow packed trail

After an hour I knew it would indeed be at least another half hour to make it to my destination. I was tempted to turn back but I so wanted to see my old hiking trails and just before heading out I had received some sad news about a friend, a man who has always handled life with positivity and laughter. It made me realize how one really needs to make the most of every moment in life and not waste a precious second of it laying around doing nothing, so onward I went. Once crossing the main road I headed along trails that I haven’t walked in at least 5 years. I used to hike daily with my dog when I lived out in the country but haven’t returned since she died. It was great to see the old neighbourhood where I spent 14 years raising my children. Some things had changed, others remained the same.

 A fast running creek in amongst the moss covered trees

 

There were paw prints in the snow which years ago could have been made by our dog Sasha. I thought a lot about her and how we shared our daily journeys. We had some good times together and I could picture her running along beside me as I ventured further down the trail. Nearing the cemetery I came upon the old narrow dirt path that took me up into the trees to the top of the cemetery. It felt good to be on a trail and off the snowy packed route on which the snow had become 3 o r 4 inches deep. Finally, as my daughter had predicted 90 minutes into my hike, I had arrived at the top. It had changed so much. What used to be trails were now more like roads. My old rock that I had sat upon for 4 or more years conversing with God about my future and my children’s future was no longer there. Obviously many people must now use the trails for their quads and dirt bikes yet today I was alone in the trees. It was so peaceful to look out at the snow covered mountains and just take in the quiet and peacefulness of nature. Although there is so much hurt and sadness in our world there is also so much good, so many things to enjoy and be part of. I live in a wonderful area full of mountains, forests, oceans, lakes and rivers. There are so many adventures to enjoy, even if only for a few hours a day.

Above the cemetery looking over at the mountains.

 

I must confess heading home, I was very tired, my back was sore, along with one foot. So, after 45 minutes on the snow packed trail knowing there were another 45 minutes to go, I headed out to the roadway and quickly headed for home. I knew being on the road I would be home enjoying a warm bowl of soup within 20 minutes. As much as I missed the quiet of the trees, I can’t say that the noise and fumes of passing cars deterred my happy spirit. It could have been the desire for food that had me running down the streets not carrying that I may been seen by friends who I am sure would wonder what I was up to. My pants were damp up to almost my knees, I had a pack around my waste complete with water bottle and safety items, and I probably looked a little worse for wear but inside I was smiling not caring what people saw or thought.

It’s been a great day and I am so thankful that I decided to get outdoors and enjoy some solitude instead of sitting here staring at a black box all day. Life is too short, too precious to waste, we need to enjoy every minute of it and be present. Don’t waste time looking back, don’t worry about tomorrow, just make the most of today, sometimes that’s all we have.

"Sister Weekend"

Ten years after our last “sister weekend” my sister and I were finally able to escape life and have a weekend together on Gabriola to celebrate my 50th. It was a good time which I must say made even better by the fact that I was able to win every game of cards except the very last one. Luck was certainly on my side. My sister gave me beautiful “sister” rings for a gift which I truly love and will treasure. Our birthstones side by side, well I shall wear hers a little above mine but only out of respect as she is the oldest.


Our birthstones

 

We spent the weekend just being together, hiking the trails, checking out the beaches, sometimes in sunshine and sometimes in wind and rain storms. We went to some of my favourite places and others that I had never been to before and we were awed by nature's beauty.

A new view from my favourite park in the sunshine

 Mostly though we hung out at my friends’ cabin and stayed warm with a nice fire in the woodstove. Meals were simple, chatter constant and laughter often. We slept side by side just like in the old days when we would be out camping except this time there was only laughter and no arguing what so ever. Now we just tease each other and thankfully laugh. It is amazing how the years have changed us in many different ways and yet who we are inside remains the same. The things I did that annoyed her years ago, still do and the things I purposely do to annoy her remain the same. It is one of the many joys that come with knowing someone for a lifetime. She knows to let me always lead the way down the trails, it is futile for her to even try and even get in front really. I know to let her have at least 10 minutes at each new "find" to get the right photo although I can’t say I have become any more patient in waiting over the years.

Getting the "perfect" shot in amongst the wind and rain

 

Of course there are always new things to learn about each other, new things that make us laugh and new fears that we face. Our life styles are different in some ways, we are at different places in our lives and yet as we grow older together we have an understanding of each other that goes back to our birth. Well I guess my birth because as I said .... she is older.

My sister and friend, Dar

 

Thank you for being a wonderful sister and for a great weekend Dar, we'll do it again soon ... I love you.

L

 

Birthday Blessings

Today I turned 50! It has been an amazing weekend with family and friends. There has been so much celebration but among it,  time for reflection. Over these past few years I have often been surprised and shocked at the love and care I receive from my many friends and this weekend was no exception.

Growing up I had many friends in my younger years. I have to confess that up to about age 10 I was the “leader of the pack”. As I aged though, my self confidence lessened and along with it the number of my friends. I kept more and more to myself, was afraid to speak to people so that by the time I graduated my only close friend was my boyfriend and I stuck to him like glue. As I entered married life and had children of my own I slowly began to make new friends, some of my children’s friends’ parents and others at the church I joined. I slowly began to lose my shyness and gain some self confidence. I remember how shocked I was ten years ago when I walked into a surprise 40^th birthday party they had for me and I saw all these women from different areas of my life, all together with me to celebrate my special day.

This last decade has been a time of much change in my life and through it all I have gained even more friends and they have supported me in so many ways. Always I end up asking myself, why?  I can’t even begin to tell you all the things people have done for me and all the wonderful gifts and acts of kindness I have received over the years. What have I ever done to deserve such kindness and love. I honestly never can come up with an answer.

As I look at all my lovely birthday cards from folks, the words on them are so beautiful.

“There are so few people in the world like you; you deserve to know how special you are”

“Our friendship was meant to be, I can’t imagine not having you in my life”

I ask myself again what have I done to deserve all this? However, tonight as I sat singing during a Taize service I realized something. It doesn’t matter that I have no answers to the why...I will probably never understand it. What I do realize is that I just need to open my heart and accept it. The understanding isn’t necessary. I just have to let the love and care in and be grateful that I am so very blessed in this life to be surrounded by such wonderful people. Life is full of mysteries and sometimes not having the answers is okay.

So the forties are gone, the fifties have arrived. I can honestly say that I don’t think I have ever felt more at peace with who I am and what I am doing in my life than I do tonight. I have everything I could ever want and more. I am full of energy and plan to make this next decade the best. I hope to make a difference to others in this world, one small step at a time. I have no idea how I will do that, but I am hopeful that I can make a difference to someone else even if it is just one person. I hope that whatever it is that I have done to deserve such a wonderful life complete with caring friends and family, that I will do it again a hundred times more in the years ahead. It’s time to pass it forward.

Thank you all, and thank you God for all of my life’s blessings.

So as another card I received today says,

“From tears and laughter with no room for regrets...and a smile that says    “You ain’t seen nothing yet!””

"A one night stand" along with "sex in a pan"
Yes I do say...the fifties are gonna be grand!

Lost in the Beauty

What a weekend....I travelled to Gabriola Island with a friend to spend the weekend in our friends’ cabin and to do some much desired hiking. There are many trails and pathways on Gabriola and we couldn’t wait to get started. The weather however was not that great....lots of rain and some wind but we had both purchased new hiking boots that were to be waterproof. .we were prepared.

My favourite rock being attacked by the waves in the stormy wind.

So Saturday morning after a great breakfast we headed out with the plan to hike the trail to the third turnoff to the beach and then head down and spend the morning on the beach before coming back up for lunch. The beauty that surrounded us was amazing. The maples were all in colour and the leaves were piled high along the trail. The many shades of yellows oranges and reds were so breath taking. Well in no time we had reached the third turn off...according to my friend I have only one speed and that it is pretty fast. She wanted to go further so we carried on along the same trail.

Amazing leaf colours covering the pathways

 After a bit of walking on this trail which is like a narrow roadway I saw a narrow trail and thought we should do some exploring so we decided to take it. I mean the trails in this area seemed to be on a grid so sooner or later I felt we would come to another spot to go left down to the beach. We followed along this trail which turned into a bit of a small dried creek bed. After spending some time on the trail we realized we were heading towards the roadway, not the beach so decided to take a left and head down another smaller trail. By now we are really bushwacking....climbing over fallen trees, going around other larger ones and weaving our way downward. We even startled a lovely deer that quickly flew through the forest and away from us. The rain becomes heavier and the ferns are thick and high and now we are soaked with really no idea where we are. Yet we were still having fun. Eventually I realize there are no sounds. No road traffic, no ocean waves I think this is enough, I am getting a bit scared. If we don’t come out at the beach we will have to back track so before we spend any more time going in the wrong direction we decided to head back towards the road. Finally we can see cars going by so we head in that direction, climb over one more large stump and head down the road. After walking along the road way we eventually found another entrance to the trail and we headed for home...the beach could wait.  I was so surprised heading home when we came to a Y in the trail and my friend said to go one way and I wanted to go the other way. She was right and somehow I had gotten myself turned around and had the ocean on my left instead of my right....it was a very strange sensation to get my head around the idea that we were going in the direction of home. I really need to get a compass I think and learn how  to use one.

Once back home we got into some dry clothes, enjoyed a wonderful warm lunch of soup and and sandwiches and then guess what...yes we headed out once again. This time we hopped in the car and drove to a spot where I had walked with my friends. I couldn’t find the exact entrance that we had used but there were many. This area is not dense forest and has nice pathways all marked with signage and names. It was a good place to walk seeing as we were in our last pair of dry jeans...I had thought we wouldn’t get wet. So we headed up the trail and continued to check the maps posted on top of the road posts. It was great. Then we needed to find the path called the "Path to Nowhere" We came to a path with no name on it but I felt it was where we needed to go. By now the rain has picked up and the wind is blowing and I think this will be the shortest way back to the car. So off we went. Within ten minutes we were in forested trails, ferns higher than our waists on a trail that twists and turns all over the place but we carried on.



Cathy still smiling while being lost amongst the tall wet ferns

After about 20 minutes we began to wonder if we would ever reach the connecting trail to our car. There are no posts, the trail we are on is really no more than an animal trail and it is heavily treed and not open like the road like trails we headed out on. But we also know we have made so many twists and turns that heading back the way we came could be quite impossible.  I am soaked...my jeans are heavy and I am getting cold. We have joked that this trail actually could be the trail to now where but we try to remain hopeful. I was starting to despair and ready to give up, picturing us wandering around and around in circles for hours getting now where. I thought of my friends who hike all over the place always with a very handy safety device called SPOT that will locate them if they become lost, which they never seem to be. I was thinking that I should have the SPOT with me however I knew that the park we were in was small, that there are many roadway entrances and we would eventually find one. My concern was when...how much longer til we could get dry and warm again.

More pretty leaves floating in the puddles

Finally when I had reached the stage of praying to God to help guide us, up ahead I could see the trees were smaller and thinning...yes thankfully there was a main trail with sign posts. We headed up the new trail, away from the car but at least on a path that we felt would connect us to the way we came in .Which it eventually did and two hours from the time we headed out we were back home in the safety of the warm cabin where we stayed put for the rest of the night.

In the morning we headed back down to the beach taking the shortest way possible. We didn’t need anymore adventures for this weekend.  As we reached the beach it was so calm. There was no rain, the water was no longer bashing up on the shoreline. I looked right and could see the stormy skies clearing and the lighter blue sky coming our way.

Storm cloud clearing, blue skies coming our way

As I looked left I could see the devastation of the nights wind and rain. There on the shore were two washed up tug boats. We see the tugboats going by regularly hauling their cargo to faraway places but here were two, obviously abandoned and waiting for the next high tide to lift them back out into the waters.

Two washed ashore tugboats waiting for the next high tide

 

So our wet hiking weekend has come to an end and the best thing...through it all, the puddles, the swamps, the wet ferns, I got soaked but you know what....my feet stayed perfectly dry in my new boots. 

My new boots still nice and dry!

I am not sure what new adventure I will next try but I do know that in two weeks I will be back on Gabriola, hiking with my sister and yes...I am definitely sticking to the trails I know!