Birthday Blessings

Today I turned 50! It has been an amazing weekend with family and friends. There has been so much celebration but among it,  time for reflection. Over these past few years I have often been surprised and shocked at the love and care I receive from my many friends and this weekend was no exception.

Growing up I had many friends in my younger years. I have to confess that up to about age 10 I was the “leader of the pack”. As I aged though, my self confidence lessened and along with it the number of my friends. I kept more and more to myself, was afraid to speak to people so that by the time I graduated my only close friend was my boyfriend and I stuck to him like glue. As I entered married life and had children of my own I slowly began to make new friends, some of my children’s friends’ parents and others at the church I joined. I slowly began to lose my shyness and gain some self confidence. I remember how shocked I was ten years ago when I walked into a surprise 40^th birthday party they had for me and I saw all these women from different areas of my life, all together with me to celebrate my special day.

This last decade has been a time of much change in my life and through it all I have gained even more friends and they have supported me in so many ways. Always I end up asking myself, why?  I can’t even begin to tell you all the things people have done for me and all the wonderful gifts and acts of kindness I have received over the years. What have I ever done to deserve such kindness and love. I honestly never can come up with an answer.

As I look at all my lovely birthday cards from folks, the words on them are so beautiful.

“There are so few people in the world like you; you deserve to know how special you are”

“Our friendship was meant to be, I can’t imagine not having you in my life”

I ask myself again what have I done to deserve all this? However, tonight as I sat singing during a Taize service I realized something. It doesn’t matter that I have no answers to the why...I will probably never understand it. What I do realize is that I just need to open my heart and accept it. The understanding isn’t necessary. I just have to let the love and care in and be grateful that I am so very blessed in this life to be surrounded by such wonderful people. Life is full of mysteries and sometimes not having the answers is okay.

So the forties are gone, the fifties have arrived. I can honestly say that I don’t think I have ever felt more at peace with who I am and what I am doing in my life than I do tonight. I have everything I could ever want and more. I am full of energy and plan to make this next decade the best. I hope to make a difference to others in this world, one small step at a time. I have no idea how I will do that, but I am hopeful that I can make a difference to someone else even if it is just one person. I hope that whatever it is that I have done to deserve such a wonderful life complete with caring friends and family, that I will do it again a hundred times more in the years ahead. It’s time to pass it forward.

Thank you all, and thank you God for all of my life’s blessings.

So as another card I received today says,

“From tears and laughter with no room for regrets...and a smile that says    “You ain’t seen nothing yet!””

"A one night stand" along with "sex in a pan"
Yes I do say...the fifties are gonna be grand!