It has been a month of waiting, that is was Advent is all
about, being patient and waiting. In my life it has been a very busy month but
this past week I have finally found time to be reflective on my life and all
that I have been blessed with. Today I spent time thinking about waiting and
what I am waiting for or expecting from tomorrow. Am I waiting for Santa to
arrive, am I waiting to spend time with my family, am I waiting to celebrate
the birth of Jesus. As I thought about this I realized how much my life has
evolved and changed over the years. I also thought about Mary waiting for her
baby to arrive and how I am waiting for my first grandchild to arrive. Even
though it is months away I feel excitement in the waiting for a baby boy to be
born, just as Mary would have many years ago.
This afternoon, in need of some quiet reflective time, I
hiked to the cross. As I hiked I thought about this past year, the losses but
mainly the celebrations and my dreams and hopes for next year. As I reached the
cross I stood looking out over the water. I tried to focus on the birth of my
grandson and all the joy he will bring but my heart was full of grief and loss.
I thought about the hopes and dreams I had had for this coming new year and
knowing that they were not going to become a reality I couldn’t help but feel
the sadness and hopelessness. The fear that I feel that this coming year could
bring pain to the people I love even amongst the joyous occasions makes me not want
to have new hopes or set goals for this year ahead. Is the disappointment worth
the dreaming.
This evening I attended the Christmas Eve service at church
where I listened to the story of Jesus’ birth, sang carols and prayed. I have
to admit I left in much higher spirits and with a sense of hope. If one small
baby boy, born in a stable could bring so much love and hope to our world then
how can I not have that same love and hope for us all.
So tomorrow is Christmas, a day celebrated by people all
over the world. Some folks will focus on Santa’s arrival, some will rejoice in
the birth of Jesus, in our own ways we will celebrate being together with our
family or friends and be thankful for all that we have.
Life is a journey and it isn’t the destination but the
journey that matters, including all the bumps we run into along the way. In the
end it is how we journey with love and hope for a better world in our hearts
that really matters.
I wish you all a very Merry Christmas tomorrow and a Happy
New year. May 2014 be a good year for us all. I also want to thank D & J
and Cathy for being such faithful readers of my blog these past three years.
Even though I never really wrote about the things I thought I would, this has
been a great place for me to share some of my thoughts and feelings and I thank
you for always taking time to read and post. Today while hiking down from the
cross I decided that this would be my last posting, #60, on this blog site... so
when the year ends so will this. It’s been a fun but it’s time for a change.
Blessings to you all.
Linda
I'm so glad you came upon a sense of hope on Christmas Eve, Lindy. It is surely is a non-negotiable element in life. It's hope that sustains the ability to love. It's hope that invites sources of deep meaning and opens our minds to receive them. It's hope that gives us the courage and the strength, even the ability, to traverse the "bumpy" places in life. And there will always be bumpy places. Remember this: felt and expressed hope becomes a precious gift to others.
ReplyDeleteAs for your postings, we hope you will reconsider as we would miss your shared thoughts very much. There are, undoubtably, many other unseen readers out there who would miss you as well. Sadly, and for whatever reason, most folks won't take the time to let you know this - that, however, doesn't reflect the value of what you write. Communicating our deeply felt musings and contemplations is an important spiritual practice that touches both writer and reader. The very act of sharing our thoughts can also be cathartic and it can spark "hope" in a tired soul. We always appreciate, and are enriched, by what you write.
Please think about that, L...and keep the faith. With warmest wishes this Christmastide. D&J
I love your blog! I hope you do continue writing in some form as you have so many good things to say and you say them all so well. May you be blessed in 2014 with much happiness and the joy of welcoming your grandson into this beautiful world where joy and pain ride side by side, both expanding the heart. Love you!
ReplyDeleteThank you all for your supportive comments. We'll see where this new year takes me.
ReplyDeleteLinda