Apparently I'm Fat!

Two weeks ago I joined a gym along with a few friends. I have never liked gyms and never even thought seriously about exercising.  I have always walked with friends and kept active so I felt there was no need to go to a gym. I had tried it years ago and quickly quit BUT this time around it has been different. The place isn’t busy, the walls not covered in mirrors and I can just let myself in anytime and do my own thing. It has been fun comparing points etc with friends and having a small fun competition. Yesterday it all changed. I went for my physical fitness/health test. I must admit I was very nervous...I didn’t like the idea of having someone watch me doing the exercises but she was very kind and lots of fun. In many ways I did better than I had hoped.  The news she gave me afterwards was not so great.

Apparently I’m fat!  Now to many this probably is not shocking but to someone who grew up with the nick name “Skinny Linny” it is rather devastating to have someone tell you, you are fat.  24 hours later I have decided I really don’t like it much. The thing is, I love food. For years I have been surrounded by people who eat vegetables and are all into their health. I have rebelled because I feel life is too short to go around worrying about what you are eating. I’ll admit there is so much “junk” in the food these days that I shouldn’t be eating it but I figure it is a bit late now to start fretting about it. I love my chips and icecream and there is nothing better after a meal that a little snack of an Oreo cookie to just sweeten the taste.

If nothing else this has made me have great compassion for the overweight children in the world. How horrid it must be to have kids teasing you and calling you fat. I feel very blessed that all my young life I could eat whatever I wanted and never had to worry about weight until now. I ran into my daughter today and told her that I really didn’t like being called fat and she chuckled and replied that she could tell that. I guess I have been grumbling nonstop since yesterday afternoon.

So I sit writing this while my veggies are cooking ready for my dietary dinner. I really doubt this is going to help me lose the 15 pounds required so that I am no longer labelled “fat”. Two years ago I weighed 20 pounds more than I do now. I got serious and quickly lost the weight. I know I still have more to lose and I have tried over this past year on and off to lose weight and haven’t lost a pound. Salads for my lunches, veggies for dinner and no potato chips...nothing changed so I went back to eating the way I like to enjoying my comfort food.

The thing is, I signed up for 6 months of torture with this personal trainer and promised her that I would change my attitude, my lifestyle and lose the weight. She would give me guidance and exercises that supposedly will decrease my waistline (which now is the same measurement as my chest and almost the same as my hips). I appear to be tube shaped! I really am not so sure I want to do this though. Now that I know I can’t eat my comfort food it is all I crave. I am afraid the word “fat” has taken away the fun of going to the gym and the little competition but I suppose I shall get over it soon and carry on.

Really though is it all that important? Life is so short...I am so past the half way point. Shouldn’t we all just be making the most of the time we have here and enjoy it and the wonderful food life has to offer? Yes it may cause us to become ill or die too soon but it really seems to be the luck of the draw as way too many health conscious people still die from diseases. Time will tell I suppose...and in the meantime I will once again try to eat healthy and exercise more but I want everyone to know I am not happy about this and I have never felt so fat before in my life.