Losing a Winning Challenge

Well the monthly “challenge” ended yesterday with quite surprising results. I won! But did I really? At the beginning of the competition I so wanted to win mainly because, well I like to win but also I have a fear of cooking for people. It’s something I have done very little of and a cooked meal was the prize...cooked of course by the 2nd place person. So for the first three weeks I constantly was on the move...hiking when time allowed and walking in the neighbourhoods more than I would have ever done without something driving me. However by the third week, knowing we were tied and my challenger was going hiking and walking while on holidays, I pretty much accepted my fate. It didn’t help matters that it rained the whole week here in town. I realized how competitive I was when I pulled a pair of what my mother used to call “puddle pants” and went out walking the neighbourhood in the rain. It really was much beyond what I needed to do (although I only won by only a few points so it was a good thing I did go out).  

So once I accepted the fact that I would be second or maybe even third I started to plan for it and thought of funny ways to honour my friend who would win. I dreamed up a few items of embarrassment for him and was all ready to begin implementing them. Rising at 1:30 am to check on his downloaded points knowing how many I had, I was so surprised to see I had sneaked by him and had won. I was also very surprised by my disappointment in winning. Now I would not be able to put into action events that I thought were funny. I also felt rather bad for winning because my friend really is more physically active than I am and in much better physical shape. He is the one who has brought out my desire to hike and be in nature, and if it wasn’t for his encouragement I would never have joined the gym two years ago and be in the physical shape I am in. He has been a role model to me in many ways. He truly deserved to win but he hadn’t because I had become over obsessed with the challenge and done way more than I will ever do again. There should have been more balance. I wonder now how my body will adjust as the physical activity lessens. It probably will not be good.

Exploring with my "teacher" and buddy

This challenge has taught me that winning isn’t everything, it’s what we learn along the way. So many lessons were learned in this month about myself, about my friend and about limits. It also taught me that sometimes there is no joy in the win, although I must confess I have bragged to every single person who knew about the challenge and I did it within hours of winning. I was surprised actually that it didn’t show up on the local news J

I would like to think that if this were to happen again I would handle it differently. I wouldn’t let it control me and I could also be a more graceful winner or happily accept 2nd place. We really were all winners. We all got more exercise than ever, we spent hours outside in nature and saw many beautiful parts of creation, we shared laughs and we learned that even when our better sides aren’t showing we can still love one another.

Would I do it again if challenged? Probably. Would my friend do it again if he was challenged? Maybe.

Would his wife, who had to endure all of our negative behaviours and conversations allow it ...I certainly hope not... she, is very wise. 

 

The soon to be chef, the wise one, and myself

 

Competitions - Harmful or Fun?

Earlier this year while on holidays with friends I had my first taste of geocaching....searching for “treasures” that other folks had hid along trails, in parks, even right downtown. There are caches hid all over the world and thousands of folks spend their time using some form of GPS to find them. I had first heard about geocaching from my children who used the GPS on their phones to go and find a few local ones in the town where they lived. I thought it would be fun but had no idea how to do it. Then on holidays my friends were given a handheld Garmin GPS and the fun began.

My tiniest geo cache find

Now my first week of being home I must say I became totally engrossed in heading out and finding as many as I could, mainly because my competitive nature had kicked in and I wanted to find more than my friends did. I was totally obsessed with it going out every single day for two to three hours at a time. However, my friends went out together - there were two of them and only one of me. I reached the point where I actually was angry at the fact of doing this alone and lost any sense of hope of finding more than they did. The joy of geocaching had disappeared because of my competitiveness and my anger. However, after talking it over I quickly got back on track and continued on and I continue to search for caches every weekend that I am free. The joy of it returned and it once again became fun.

Obsessed and Determined geocacher (could be me)

For over a year now I have been working out at a gym and wearing a device that monitors your activity. You wear it on your waist and get points for movement. These you can download into the gym’s site and see where you rank with others. Now at first it was interesting to see where I fit in with my friends and others at the gym. Over time though I used it to monitor my own activity and set my own goals. My friends didn’t always wear theirs so there really was no competition until “the challenge”. One of my friends challenged me with a prize to the winner. Well once again, within the first week I was angry over not having the time to get these points, and my friend felt we should end the competition. I however continued to compete and became obsessed with being out walking, running etc. It really was ridiculous and not much fun most of the time. Eventually I let go and prepared myself to lose. Once I did that the joy of exercise came back to me. However both of us have noticed how driven we are to get more points. I am doing way more exercise than I would have before. My body aches from climbing hills and running more than my knees want me to.

Hiking and more hiking = Points and more points

Competitions are they good or are they harmful? Are we all so competitive that we push ourselves beyond what we should do and take the fun out of something we usually love. It has been fun this month checking the points site and doing ridiculous things (like running around my livingroom) to stay in first place but when I look back at it I am not so sure it is physically healthy nor healthy for our friendship. I think it brings out the worst in my personality and has me doing more than my body wants to. Yet it has been great getting outdoors more and exercising and it has given us both some laughs. Between these two competitive outdoor adventures I have explored areas I never would have known about, seen new and beautiful  parts of creation and had such good times out in the woods.

Maybe entering in races, competing in community events is a good way to challenge oneself to reach new  levels. However I no longer believe that competitions between friends are ideal. I truly wish I wasn’t so competitive but it seems to be part of who I am. Am I still going to try and win the competition with my friend?  You bet I am...only because I have no self control (and I don’t think my friend does either  :)  Come this Friday one of us will be #1 and the other #2 but we will both be winners. We will have had new adventures, reached new personal goals and learned from the experience but most importantly had lots of laughs, it's a win, win for us all.

Dragonflies

Tomorrow is Palm Sunday, the beginning of Holy Week in the Christian Tradition. It is a day of celebration to reflect on the day Jesus rode into Jerusalem, greeted by the crowds of people who had gathered, waving palm branches to welcome him with joy. It is also known as Passion Sunday and is a day where we begin to prepare ourselves for the loss that we will experience on Good Friday when Jesus was crucified and died.

"The cross" where I spend time reflecting.

 

Each year I try to “live” this Holy Week. I attend all the church services and try to be reflective on Jesus’ life and what he brought to us.  I do this because I have been told that you can’t experience the “Easter”, the resurrection of Christ, without walking through Holy Week and experiencing the death and loss first.  It is true. We have to die before we can experience transformation of new life. Every year I expect and wait with hope for some great change in myself to happen on Easter, to be transformed in some way, but I can’t say I have experienced anything as grand as I have hoped for.

This year is different. A very mystical, spiritual leader and friend is now preparing herself and her family for her death. She is dying, way too soon, way too young, with so many gifts yet to share with us, but life is like that. There is no understanding, there can only be some form of acceptance.

I love the children’s book “Waterbugs and Dragonflies” by Doris Stickney. It tells the story of the waterbugs that live on the bottom of the pond and how every now and then one of them disappears never to return and all the little waterbugs want to know what happens. They all promise to come back and tell the others but of course when they climb to the top of the reed they are transformed into beautiful dragonflies. When they try to return they can no longer enter the pond. It is the story about life, death and life beyond death. Although it gives us no answers to the mystery of what is yet to come it gives us hope of new life.

This past fall with encouragement from my daughter, I went and a got a tattoo...and what did I choose but a dragonfly. These past couple of years I have been drawn to them more and more. They are beautiful insects with amazing abilities. The dragonfly’s agile flight and its ability to move in all six directions shows us a sense of power and poise, something that comes only with age and maturity. The dragonfly can move at an amazing 45 miles an hour, hover like a helicopter fly backwards like a hummingbird, fly straight up, down and on either side and it can do this while flapping its wings a mere 30 times a minute while houseflies need to flap their wings a 1000 times a minute. They are incredible.

This week I sent my “goodbye” to my friend, a woman who has taught me so much about my faith, who brought the feminine side of God to me and shared with me so many meaningful rituals. She has done amazing things with her life, continually learning, growing and most importantly sharing all of her knowledge, faith and experiences with everyone through her ministry, her writings and her living of life. She too is incredible. I have continued to pray for a miracle, they do happen and I need to have hope. This week, with such grace, she has begun this time of letting go, of saying goodbye to her family and friends and I too am slowly letting go. Yet because of her deep spiritual faith and life I can’t keep myself from still hoping for a miracle.

So my journey through Holy Week this year is going to be very different from every other year. Not only will I be preparing myself for the Friday of Jesus’ death, I will also be preparing myself for the grief that will come someday soon when I lose someone I have admired for years but as I prepare, I can’t give up on hope.  The dragonfly’s life is very short yet they are able to do such miraculous things in their brief life, just like my friend has. It means living each moment of life fully, completely and mindfully, making the most of every moment, of every day. It’s something we all need to do, not to waste one precious moment. I try to live a life full of experiences and adventures, to make each day count but I can’t do it without hope for something more to come, for that one miracle...whatever it may be. So I wrote to my friend the other day, telling her that maybe, just maybe that miracle will come after she has journeyed from this life to the next. Maybe she will be that one “dragonfly” that comes back in some spiritual way to let us in on this great mystery of life, of life beyond death. It may sound silly and childish, I should just let go, but I can’t, I have to continue to believe, to dream and to have hope.

A dragonfly I purchased in honour of a woman who has so deeply touched my life.


 

Persistance equals Success

Just to update you...the lake has been found and what a breathtaking site.

Heart Lake..well worth the  climb

And the view was beautiful as well

 

I am so glad I didn't let last weeks hike be my last attempt at finding this place of beautiful creation.

Failure or Success, it all Depends on Your Perspective

This morning I decided to drive to a nearby town and do a hike long a creek and up to a lake. After all the hiking in Arizona I was missing being outside and exploring and as today was my only free day I decided to make the most of it and go for a 3 hour hike on my own.

I found the place to park the car with no problem and headed off on the easy trail that ran along a beautiful flowing creek. I was thankful to be reminded that there is beauty in nature right in the middle of a neighbourhood and that it wasn’t necessary to be in another country to find such gifts in nature. It was also good to know that I could get out and have these adventures on my own. I had packed my backpack with water, snack and with music to listen to and happily walked and ran along the trail.

Harrison Creek

There were two loops to the trail, the Harrison Creek trail and the Heart Lake trail. My plan was to take the first half of the Creek Trail and then turn off and go to the Lake Trail, not doing the full loop but I planned to turn off of it to hike straight up to the lake at the top where the website promised me fantastic views.

I must admit it was a little scary being on my own as there were posting on the signs warning of bears but the trail was well marked with big map signs as I went along and I had my music to keep me company. I managed to turn off and head to the Lake trail where I once again stopped and checked out the map. Now if I had been smart I would have taken a picture of it so that I could check it on my way as this loop was over 6km’s long and I had no intention of doing the whole loop, just taking the 20 minute hike up to the Lake. As I headed along the trail, which really was a logging road, I felt I had gone too far but then right around the next corner was a post with a red top that said Lake Loop – 6.4kms so I headed up the steep incline towards the lake. It went on and on and up and up...I was getting very tired and very concerned. Finally I thought...this can’t be it ...I am on the Loop trail not the trail to the Lake so I grumpily turned around and headed back down.  I was very disappointed in myself and well to be honest had quite the pity party as I walked back down to the post and then to the map. Upon reaching the map I still really couldn’t figure out which way I needed to go to the Lake...I honestly could not make sense of where I stood and whether I should go right or left so I headed back to the car in a foul mood.

Where I think I made a wrong turn??

I knew this pity party needed to stop and that I needed to feel thankful for what I was experiencing. Seeing there was no one else around to give me a stiff kick in the butt I felt I better do it myself. So I made myself focus on all the good things of the day, the sights I had seen, the enjoyment of being outdoors with the sun shining. Then I thought of all of my friends who were not with me because of health issues, some battling cancer and others having their mobility slow fade away from suffering with MS. I have such a wonderful life and I am so very thankful for all that life has given me yet somehow it is so easy to slip into those pity parties.



The unattained goal on the distant hilltop.

 

So if nothing else, I had a good two hour hike, I listened to some inspiring music, I saw beautiful waterfalls and spent time being thankful for all of creation. I learned that one should take a map with them, and be mindful along the trail. The hike, well maybe it was a failure but in so many other ways it was a success. It really does depend on one’s perspective. To me focusing on the positive, although not always easiest, is certainly the healthiest. Next Saturday...look out Lake ...I am determined to find you!

Beauty in Nature

Mountain Top Experiences and Gratitude



Kind and Generous Friends

Thanks to the kindness of three of my good friends I spent this past week exploring, hiking and having fun in Arizona. I had never travelled down south before and was amazed by the number of mountains that surround the flat desert places. It was a week full of discoveries and adventures shared with lots of laughter and fun.

Bell Rock in the distance

Our first hike was in Sedona where the colours of the land and rocks were breathtaking. We spent the day hiking the Bell Rock, visiting the chapel and lastly climbing up to the airport vortex. The day was a day of spiritual beauty. At the Bell Rock I enjoyed following the pathway marked by cairns up and over the rocks. There were small shrubs and trees with their barks twisted in growth from the vortex. At the end of the pathway we continued to climb up and over the rocks some of us being aware that we would have to come down what we climbed up. I would have taken off quickly climbing further and further up if not for my wise friend’s comment to remember that I would also have to be able to come back down. The views from the side of the mountain were breathtaking. I could see for miles across to the hills in the distance. The layers of red, orange and white rocks were beautiful with the sun shining down upon them. I could have sat there on the cold rocks forever admiring creation.



The view from Bell Rock

At our second stop we walked up a roadway to a chapel built into the hillside. Inside there was a very large cross in front of a huge window looking out over the valley. Along each side were candles which people were lighting. After a moment of prayer I went up and lit two candles, one for a friend who is struggling and one for all of the people in the world who would never have the opportunity to see such amazing land formations. Outside as we sat in the sun finding different shapes and formations in the rocks on the hillside, I was overcome with emotion. I felt so grateful and undeserving to be witness to such beauty.

The Chapel

The third stop was to me the most meaningful. It was called the airport vortex and was just below the airstrip on the flat mountain top. We stopped at the trailhead, near the top of the hill and climbed up to the vortex. It was located in a small valley between two small hilltops on the mountain. I could feel the strong movement of the air around me and felt a great sense of peace. We climbed to the top of the rock to the left and looked down onto the lower mountainside beside us. There was such a sense of peace. The rocks are so deep in colour and so rich. The sun was shining brightly and the skies so very blue. As we sat looking at the wonder of God’s creation we noticed on the hillside across form us that a man was giving a sound healing to a group of folks. They were stretched out on their backs on the edge of the mountain while he played beautiful music on his flute and then later on his drum holding it close to them allowing the sound to vibrate through their bodies. The sounds from the instruments floated through the air and across to us. It was memorizing and soaked deeply into my body and into my soul. I sat there in silence, in prayer and meditation, in thought and in awe, absorbing everything that my senses heard and felt. Before we headed back down to the car we joined hands and shared in a prayer spoken by my friend. It was beautiful and touched on everything that we had seen heard and felt and all of those people around us. What a gift to be part of.

Across from the Airport Vortex

Our second adventure had us heading south to climb the trails in the Sonoran Desert, in the Saguaros National Park. We headed off on an 8 mile hike to try and reach Wasson Peak. It was hot and dry and the pathway was very sandy. We were surrounded by the enormous Saguaros cacti and other smaller prickly pear cacti. There were also barrel cacti with yellow flowers budding from their tops and a red tinge to their spikes. Then there were the chain cacti which I am sure can fly as on the way back down one of them actually found their way into my shoe and another one into my friends clothing and unfortunately into his skin. They were eventually removed but not as easily as one would think, leaving spots of blood and bruising on the skin from the pulling.



Giant Saguaros Cactus

Along the ridge of the mountain we came across park workers, young men, who were diligently pruning the cacti and bushes along the side of the trail to allowing it to be more passable. They were silent in their work, and as my friend said, they looked like shepherds on the hillside taking care of God’s creation. They were indeed stewards of the land. Although we knew there were poisonous snakes, wild cats and other dangerous critters in the area we were lucky to only see the odd small lizard or squirrel. It was fun to spot them in amongst the boulders and small shrubs. There were only a few others on the trail and no one nearby as we climbed. The silence, disturbed only by the quiet sounds of the birds and other small creatures brought such a peacefulness to the afternoon.

At Wasson Peak, looking back along the trail

It took us approximately 3 hours to hike to the peak but the view and the feeling of accomplishment was all well worth it. We could look down on the city of Tucson and down onto the trail we had hiked up plus others. Although it was certainly not a difficult or too steep of a hike, we had climbed up over 1400 feet, reaching a height of over 4600 feet. I had never hiked to such a height before and felt pretty good about it all. The decent was made quickly and easily, only taking a little over two hours plus the time it took to remove those “flying cacti” from ourselves. It was such a good feeling to gaze back up to Wasson Peak and know that I had been there.

In planning for this trip I had thought about the sharing of adventures, the hiking, and the fun that we might have. I had no idea how spiritual and how emotional this trip was to be. There was so much to be grateful for. This world that God has created for us is so full of amazing beauty. The mountains, the deserts, the creatures and plants that live there, the dangerous ones, the peaceful ones, they are all part of our world and all require our respect. Their beauty and uniqueness had me constantly in awe for all that I saw before me. I found myself close to tears throughout the whole week. I was overcome with gratitude for the kindness and generousity of my friends. The friend, who had financed my trip, gave me a comfortable room to retire to and amazing meals which more than satisfied my hunger, who encouraged us to go out and explore and not worry about her, she was content to stay home and prepare meals for our return. The friends who allowed me to join them each and every day, hiking, exploring and even shopping, never complaining about having a third person along or my sometimes constant chatter, always including me and checking to make sure that I was okay with everything as the days and adventures passed.



Open hearted friends

I will never forget this past week. I cannot come up with the words to explain deeply enough all that I felt and still feel. It brought such joy and happiness to my life. So many life stories shared while creating new stories and memories to share in the future. My life is so good, so full and feels so complete. I have to constantly remind myself to enjoy it and to not slip into my past habit of feeling I don’t deserve all of this goodness. Every person deserves to enjoy life and all that it has to offer. It is so sad and unjust that in our world it is not so. Millions of people suffer daily, have little to eat and no place to live while others of us live easy lives full of amazing adventures like this past week. It will never make sense to me nor really to anyone else, so I try to make each moment in life count, to be thankful for all that I have and all that I am able to do. I believe we need to be thankful to God each day for all of creation, to be thankful for the people that come into our lives, for the love and care we share with family and friends, and to always try to do what we can to make a difference so that someday this world will be a place of peace, a world where everyone will be able to share in the spiritual beauty of creation and friendships as I have this past week.

Advice from a Saguaro

Stand Tall

Reach for the Sky

Be Patient Through the Dry Spells

Conserve Your Resources

Think Long Term

Wait for Your Time to Bloom

Stay Sharp!

                                                   Ilan Shamin

Kindness and Living a Compassionate Life

What is kindness? Well if you look it up it seems to mean the act of being kind, good and charitable behaviour. It is also known as a virtue in many cultures and religions. Maybe that is why being kind is something most of us strive for and what we would like to be known for. It isn’t always so easy.

I have been trying to be a kind person for most of my life and a lot of the time my actions can be kind. They say that kindness is having a pleasant disposition and concern for others. Now mostly I feel I am pleasant and I care so much about people, my family, my friends and others that I meet or hear about. Research has shown that acts of kindness do not only benefit receivers of the kind act, but also the giver. When such acts are committed they cause the release of neurotransmitters which give us feelings of contentment and relaxation. It all sounds so good and I believe it is true. When I help others through my work I feel good about who I am and what I have done. There is a warm feeling in my heart. Unfortunately I don’t seem to take it any further.

Compassion I feel is taking kindness one step further. Living a life of compassion is always doing the right thing, thinking of others, acting on those thoughts and putting others first. Feeling compassion for others isn’t enough, it takes action to live a compassionate life.

This world is full of people with multiple homes, multiple luxuries and more food that they could possibly eat in a day. Professional athletes and movie and music stars get paid millions per year for sharing the gifts God has given them. Our society worships these stars and is willing to pay good money in order to watch them perform. The people in government get paid top dollar for running the “business” side of countries.

In this world over a billion people are without homes, millions of people go hungry every day, and children die from starvation and illnesses that easily could be prevented with the right medical care. We live in a world so full of riches, and yes those riches are held by so few. Where are their hearts? Where is their compassion?  Where is mine? Life is so full of injustice, as my Dad always says to me “nothing is fair in this old world”, and he is so right

If we all lived lives of compassion there wouldn’t be such a thing as poverty. All children would have homes, warm meals and live lives full of happiness. Young adults wouldn’t be sent to fight wars and all people could live a life of peace.  It really is all so very possible, it just takes every single person to live a life of love, kindness and compassion. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if everyone woke up tomorrow and felt called to share all that they had with others, that the wars ceased and we lived a life of peace. We all can make it happen.

This planet we live on is so full of beauty and riches that go beyond anyone’s imagination. It’s such a shame that so few respect it and so few get to enjoy it. There is enough in this world for everyone to share in it's riches. All things are possible and maybe, just maybe one step at a time we will get there. It can begin acts of kindness towards others, it can move into a life of compassion, it can with faith move forward into a world of justice for all. We must have hope.