Letting Go

It’s not always easy. In letting go we give up control, we become vulnerable and for me it is a huge struggle. As a parent there are so many firsts of letting go...the first time you leave them with a sitter, the first time they go to school, the first time they drive off in your vehicle and then when they move away from home. I have been through all of these stages...three times over. It’s always been hard but it has been beneficial as well. They become independent in slow stages and grow into adults with confidence.

My children are all adults now and have been out of the house for a few years, yet I still have a close relationship with them and I am in touch with them throughout the week. They call and ask for advice and share their worries and concerns with me. They call and ask what their siblings are up to. These past six months or more though I have noticed a change. Up until now I have been the hub, with the three of them arranging gatherings through me for family dinners or outings. Now I find they are communicating to each other and not including me in their conversations. They have moved into true adulthood with their own lives and I love it. Usually I don’t like change and find it so hard to let go and not be in control but this time it is different. I am so happy that they have moved from teenagers who didn’t always get along to now being both siblings and friends. It is rather strange though to hear them talking about things that I know nothing about.

My weekend travel buddies

This past weekend I was with all three of them and I found I have now become the focus of their jokes, the one they laugh about and shake their heads at. It’s all in good fun but different. It’s once again a time for me to let go. I may not agree with all their decisions but their life is theirs to live. My hardest struggle, which I continue to fail at everyday, is to keep my opinion and thoughts to myself. This is truly going to be tested when I become a Nana in a few months. It will be a time to be quietly supportive of the choices they make as they too learn to parent. I pray I will be able to do this.

                                         The parents of my first grandchild

Some evangelical churches say let go and let God...and I guess it some ways it is true. There is no purpose to worrying about what life will bring, we are not always in control. Then again, I believe that God is not in total control either. God lets go and allows us to make choices. As our creator, God wants only what is best for us just as we want the best for our children but neither God nor us can control someone else’s choices or actions. We can however, control our own actions and decisions and try to be people of acceptance and love.

I came home from this weekend with a sense of deep change coming and with it a sense of freedom. Sometimes letting go can be good and so can change. It is not always easy but without it we wouldn’t grow or become the people God wants us to be. These next three months are going to be full of changes in my life, not that I myself am making any changes but the people in my life that I love are. It is a time when I must let go and be supportive and happy for the choices they have made. A time to be proud of them for the people they are and the courage they have as they move onto new adventures. I’ve never been good at letting go or with change but I pray that I can truly let go and look at this next period of time with a positive attitude and use it as an opportunity for me to grow within myself to be a better person than I have been in the past. With God’s guidance and love surrounding me I will try to do my best, to let go with love.