Praying and Playing

I had a marvelous day out on the beaches of Tofino earlier this week with some adventurous friends. I realized that Long Beach is my “happy place”. The moment I set eyes on the beach I can’t help but smile. It makes my inner child come alive with joy and playfulness.

Peering out at the beach with joy!

As I walked the beach, heading back to the car, I was deep in thought, about life, about my work at the church and about being out in creation. I realized that church is important to me. It’s a place where I go to pray especially during those dark times but mostly it’s a place where I make connection with people and friends. It’s a time to come together and not only worship but to get caught up with each other’s lives. It gives us community and a common interest.

Often at church we will sing the song:

Lord, listen to your children praying,

Lord, send your spirit to this place,
Lord listen to your children praying, send us love,
send us power send us grace.

I also sing this song when out walking on the trails trying to discern my life or a certain problem that I am having. It calms me and helps me be present in the moment and let go of whatever is troubling me and mostly it strengthens me. I don’t believe in giving God a wish list and constantly praying for things but I do believe in conversation with God. I feel it gives me strength to handle whatever may be happening in my life. I pray for others to have strength and healing too and I believe that when we pray together there is an energy that others can receive and feel.

This week as I walked back across the sandy beach with the strong winds blowing in my face I started once again to pray the song quietly out loud but I soon realized I couldn’t. It didn’t seem write to be praying to God for things that I already had at that moment. I quickly changed the words to:

Lord, listen to your children playing

Lord, I feel your spirit in this place
Lord, listen to your children playing
I feel your love, I feel your power, thank you for your grace.

Walking back along the beach with friends, playing along the way.

I don’t believe there is any better connection to God a person can have than time spent out in nature, on the trails, up the mountains and hillsides, down along the waters’ shores. It is time well spent, time to be thankful and joyful for all that we have. It brings an inner sense of peace to me, puts a smile on my face and has me laughing in youthful, playful fun. I wish more people would get out and explore this marvelous world and just experience living in the moment.

The beauty of creation

I will remember this day’s adventures with very special friends for a very long time. I will remember the laughter we shared in the cold wind, the joy we felt walking through the water, and the shared closeness we all felt. I will also remember to be thankful to God, not to always be asking but to be thanking for all that I have. It’s an amazing planet we live on. It offers us such joyful, playful moments. I plan to let my inner child play on those beaches again, very soon!

Losing out to Fear

I hadn’t been out hiking in quite some time and was really looking forward to getting outdoors and reaching a summit. A friend agreed to join me and hike up Bald Mountain...it would be about a 4 hour hike and we would find a few geocaches along the way. Bald mountain’s summit sits at about 600 m so not a huge hike but I knew there would be some great views of the lake. The trails were made years ago by Scout groups and were well mapped. The Scout camp had sat right below the mountain on the lake shore.

Arriving at the destination I was surprised to find that the instructions were all for the old camp and not the new camp they had put in a few years ago. Thankfully though we found the trail head and headed off. The plan was to hike up to the “lookout” on the first hill, down through what they call the saddle and up to the second summit. Following that we would have to hike down, what was described as a steep trail, to the marine park and then back to the car via the lake shore trail. It all sounded great. I had printed off the map and the details, packed a lunch, rain gear and was totally prepared for anything.

Hiking up the Switchback Trail

We headed off hiking up a switchback trail that helped with the steep incline. This part of the trail had been redone by the CVRD and was easily marked with sign posts and map. After an hour and half we arrived at the “Lookout” just like they said we would. The weather was cool but at least it wasn't raining. It was great.

A short break on the way up



A great view from the lookout

We headed off toward the second summit. Now we were on the old scouting trails that were nicely marked with orange blue and yellow flagging plus some white metal triangles on trees. This part of the trail was quite steep through forested trees but along the way we were treated to some lovely views of the lake and surrounding hills. An hour later we arrived at the summit marked by an old forestry tower from the logging company when it was logged years ago. A great place for lunch!

At the summit looking west

Heading down towards the marine park we were greeted along the way by some friendly little birds that I believe were whisky jacks. They are the most people friendly bird I have ever encountered and would quite willingly sit on your hand.



A friendly fellow

We continued down and further down along moss covered hillside. There wasn’t much of a trail but we followed the flagging...until the flagging ended. We hiked over to the right and up a bank in search of a trail and more flagging but there was nothing, looking to the left there was still nothing and we couldn’t go forward as we had reached the cliffs edge. Now heights are not my thing. I have always had a fear of heights but it has never really bothered me hiking until now.

Sadly we turned around and hiked back up to the trail but soon found some more flagging down a steep bank. I scooted down and sure enough there was a trail below...we just had to get down to it. Bravely I carried on and made it to the bottom. Off we headed down through the trees following what was now marked with only the yellow flagging. Once again though we came to a cliff edge and the flagging disappeared. Now whenever my friend and I hike I am pretty much always in the lead but by now we have been on the mountain for four hours and I am tired and my fear of heights has kicked in. I gingerly creep down to have another look but plant myself next to a tree to scared to move and allow my older friend to check for flagging and trails along the edge. Nothing can be seen and my fear of one of us falling off the edge (apparently there was land down there though but I never got close enough to look) or being stuck on the mountain after dark had me deciding we are going to have to backtrack. It was tough. We had come down at least 200m from the summit and the rain was now falling and we were going to have to hike back up to the tower and over to the lookout and back down to the car. This certainly was not in the plan and would take much longer but it is what we did.

Heading back up to the summit

As I walked along the trail, disappointed in not making the loop, I found myself singing quietly "Lord, listen to your children praying". It brought to me a sense of quiet and calm as I wandered back through the trees.





Beautiful moss along the trail through the trees

By the time we reached the saddle our bodies were quite done in. My knees were in pain and my legs were wobbly. I had fallen once already coming down the mossy bank and then as I climbed over a small fallen tree I slid, grabbed onto the branch sticking out which broke off causing the side of my head to smash into the broken branch. Thankfully it didn’t break my glasses and only left a small mark and bruise. At last, after much groaning and moaning and after six hours of being on Bald Mountain we returned to the car, totally soaked and very sore and tired.

It really was a great day but I still wonder where the trail actually is. How steep was it? Did I let my fear of heights get out of control and why couldn’t I have been braver and gone further down to see if there was flagging? I am disappointed in how tired I was after six hours of hiking. I love hiking and really want to go on some higher and longer hikes but obviously my body will not be willing. It makes me think about how much I have missed out on life. Why did I not go hiking in my twenties instead of waiting til my mid forties to experience this wonderful island? As a child camping I always loved to explore trails and forests why did I not continue to pursue my love of nature?

Next time I'll be brave and take some risk!

I don’t have the answers to any of these questions nor will I ever but I do know I will be back out to Bald Mountain and this time I shall go along the coastal trail and hike upwards to see where I went wrong. It will be a challenge that I will try and meet. Hopefully my love of exploring will over power my fear of heights and I will not turn back the next time around. I want to live life to the fullest and not let my fears keep me home just so I can feel safe. There is too much out there that I haven’t seen and experienced. Sadly my life is well more than half over so I need to get a move on and make the most of each day, explore all of nature, be thankful to our Creator for all that is and once in awhile, be brave and take a risk.

Awe Wonder and Blessings

In this past year I have been blessed with the gift of two wonderful grandchildren. They have brought a wonderful and amazing change to my life. The first grandchild was born almost a year ago and up until a month ago lived on the mainland. I only saw him every couple of months and was always amazed at how much he had grown and changed. He is now crawling around, eating table food and making wonderful baby gibberish.


My wonderful granson at 7 months

My second grandchild, a little girl, was born only five minute walk from my home. I saw her when she was only a couple of hours old and have seen her pretty much every day since. When you are a parent you are busy, keeping the baby fed and changed, cleaning the house, preparing the meals. Being a Nana is a whole different experience. I can just sit and hold her in my arms and look at her with wonder and awe. Day by day I’m watching her come alive and wake up in the world in slow motion. It’s absolutely beautiful!

My new granddaughter at 1 month

The first month she basically slept and ate and slept and ate but during those awake moments her eyes began to focus, she started to look around at her world. She would follow a toy and then she began to turn her head from side to side.



Learning to Smile

Her facial expressions are so expressive. From frowning to pouting to those wonderful little smiles that are now appearing. At first you could tell she was smiling from the joy in her eyes but now her mouth is smiling along with them. She looks at her Mom and recognizes her and smiles with happiness.

This past month she found her hands. She looks at them a lot. It’s like she knows they are attached to her but she hasn’t quite figured out their purpose yet. She almost looks at them with amazement saying “wow these are so cool...I can make them open and then close!” Lately she has also found her feet. Now they don’t seem to be as exciting as her hands but wait til she finds out their purpose...she will be very happy. Exciting news today is that she rolled over. Now I wasn't there to see it happen but I wonder if she was surprised or shocked or did she have that all planned out.

Bunny Feet!

I would so love to know what she is thinking and what she thinks of this place. It must be a wonderful sense of wonder and awe. Life is like that. If you look around you out in creation and see it in all of its beauty you can’t help but have a great sense of wonder and awe. It’s amazing. From the little bud that turns into a beautiful flower, from the little egg that hatches into a lovely bird that can fly, from a little seed that grows into a massive tree...it’s all very humbling. We are but a small part in this vast world. The miracle of life in all forms brings me such a sense of thankfulness and many moments of amazement.



Me and my babies

I love being a parent even with all of its challenges it is such a blessing. The joys and gifts that children bring to your life totally outweigh those small little difficulties that pop up from time to time. Being a Nana...well now that is totally superb! I have decided that the ultimate gift of becoming a parent is becoming a grandparent and being there to watch a small baby awaken to the gifts of the world. I pray that we can learn to respect this planet and keep it safe for all future generations so that all babies can continue to grow and experience that wonderful sense of wonder and awe.

Thankful for the Light in Life

This weekend I spent a day up in the Comox Valley wandering through some park land geocaching with my youngest daughter. The weather wasn’t great but not as wet as it could have been. As we wandered back and forth through the trails at Lazo Marsh Park looking for geocaches we chatted about life and an upcoming adventure we are planning. It was a great day and relaxing although wet and mucky and sometimes frustrating not know which of the many trails to take.

In amongst the trees

I started this blog a year ago to talk about my spirituality both inside the church and outdoors on the trails. At the time I was wondering if a person really needs to attend church to be spiritually fed or if spending time outdoors in nature would bring to me a closer feeling to God. I have always felt that being outdoors in creation would be enough. I always feel so fulfilled after a good hike through the woods. I feel in awe of creation and so thankful for all that I encounter along the pathway.



Pathways in life

These past two months though I have attended church only twice and now realize that there has to be balance. That being out on the trails is great but I am missing something spiritual. Although I have been practising to be thankful and feel gratitude for all of my blessings I’m not feeling as connected to God at this time in my life. Although feeling gratitude for my blessings, a new granddaughter, my son and family moving back home, so many good things happening, I wonder if I’m not directing my gratitude towards God. If not am I truly being thankful for all of the gifts in my life.



In amongst the darkness there is always light

As we journey along through life we never really know what we will happen just like when we travel along the pathway through the trees....we don’t really know what will greet us as we come out in the open. Sometimes when life gets so good we forget to be thankful and take it all for granted. When life is stormy and we find a gift of light we are so thankful for that moment, we treasure it and feel a deep sense of thankfulness. I need to remember to always be thankful, show gratitude and don’t ever get so comfortable in life that I take it all for granted. If I do I will miss the light shining through.

Longest Night

It's December 21st, the day of the longest night. It's a day that lands just a few days before Christmas, the day we celebrate the birth of Jesus by gathering with our family and friends to exchange gifts, laughter and feast on too much food. Christmas is a busy busy time in the church and in my personal life. There is so much to prepare - church bulletins, special services, christmas hampers, shopping for family gifts, planning the meals and preparing my home with cleaning and decorating. So today is the day I just like to stop and just take some time to breathe. I usually attend the Longest Night evening church service and sit in the quiet and be thankful for all that I have. Its an evening where we meditate, light candles, shed tears for our losses and just breathe. It's what I feel we all need to do during this busy season. It's a way to practice self care and recharge oneself for the days to come. If we don't take the time to step back from all the busyiness in our lives and reflect on the true meaning of Christmas we totally miss out on the mystery and sacredness.

For many Christmas is the time when Santa comes and delivers presents, a tradtion that brings joy and magic into the lives of children and us adults as well. For me, Santa is one of the myths that brings magic into our children's lives and lets their imagination soar. I loved believing in Santa and playing Santa for my children and even though it was heart breaking to find out there is no real Santa Claus, I truly do believe that there is a little bit of Santa in all of us and I have always told my children this. 

The Stockings are hung awaiting Santa

Just as the magic of Santa brings mystery into our lives so does the little baby Jesus. It's the mystery and the sacredness in the birth of a baby that was born thousands of years ago, that has our hearts opened with love, our dreams filled with the hope of peace and our laughter ringing out as we rejoice with joy. It's mystical, it's magical and it's sacred and it allows us to wonder and to dream.


Tonight I will sit in the quiet, look back on this past year, rejoice in all that has been accomplished, shed tears for all those whose lives have been lost and those who are living among the horrors of war, and be thankful for all the gifts that have blessed my life, loving friends, a caring family, a new baby grandson, a place to call home, a future grandchild to soon join our family and so, so much more. Mostly though, tonight, I will sit quietly, reflect on life and just savour the moment. I will soak in the mystery and I will wonder at the beauty and wisdom of a little boy born so long ago who came and changed our world.

A Child Born long ago

It's the longest night, a night filled with darkness, but tomorrow we know the light will come, the sun will rise, as it always does and we will be thankful we took the time to breathe and be with the mystery of all of life.

" Be open to the flow of Divine Wisdom, Peace and Love that are part of your being, your soul. Be still, listen and believe the inner voice of God's loving assurance: "the light will dawn..." Adapted from Rev. Mary L. Kupferle

Remembrance Day

Remembrance Day is a day when we remember and honour all the people who have served to keep our country free and safe. Canada is a country where we have freedom of religion, freedom of speech and so many other freedoms that many of us take daily for granted. Over the years I attended the Remembrance Day services, either at school, at church or with my children in guiding, however I don't think I had a real sense of what it was all about until this past year.

My son in 2006, a year or so before graduation was thinking of joining the armed forces, he wanted to do something to help people and to make a difference in our world. Although it is a huge honourable career to serve for our country I wasn't pleased. I suggested he do something else and join the reserves instead. In no way did I want my son ending up in Afghanistan fighting in a war. I didn't want him getting killed nor enduring the violence that was happening over there.

At this same time my co-workers son, who was in the armed forces, was sent over to Afghanistan and was there for many long horrific months. Thankfully he came back physically safe, but as with many returning soilders, his life would never be the same. What they endured over there, never knowing who the enemy was, the horrid acts of violence that they witnessed and took part in, events that I and most people know nothing about, have scarred them deeply. It's the wounds that you don't see that are always the worst and are so hard to heal from. So many of our veterans and members of the armed forces are now suffering from PTSD.

The time that he served I remember well, the stress my friends endured. Their cell phone would ring at the office and it would be their son calling. I had never seen them move so fast with such a sense of urgency to get together so that they could both, for a few precious moments, hear their son's voice. Then there were the weeks that they would hear nothing, while he was out on patrol throughout the day and night, miles away from the protected base, they would go to bed not knowing if their son would live to see his next day. I was so thankful that my son never signed up and at the same time felt their pain and angst but could do nothing.

On this Remembrance Day, I think of not only of the brave courageous young people whose lives were lost, the veterans who suffer from both physical or mental injuries but also of their families who have suffered loss and lived through such stressful times. Lives that have been changed, lives will never be the same.

I have always watched war movies, first with my Dad and then with my husband and always enjoyed them. This weekend I spent time with my son and his family. Over the three days we watched the movie "Saving Private Ryan". I have seen it many times and its one of my favourites. This time, however it was very different. I had to turn my face away many times from the scenes of violence as I could not watch. I now realized that this wasn't just a movie, that people had actually gone through these battles and saw this destruction and felt this pain. I'm not sure I will be able to watch this type of movie again...something inside me has changed.

Today as I headed to the ferry, I drove by the parade and looked at all the veterans marching along. I saw them with new eyes and felt a much deeper respect for them than I had before. I listened to the radio ceremony and shared in a moment of silence. As I reflected on this day I realized that I have changed for two reasons, watching my friends suffer so much during the time their son was in Afghanistan and how it still affects them all still today and having a new grandson come into my life earlier this year. As I approached the ferry terminal I wiped the tear from my eye and said thank you. Thank you to all the men and women who have served to keep our country free so that babies like my grandson can live freely. It is my prayer and hope, that he will never know what war is and that by the time he reaches adulthood our world will be a place of peace for all people everywhere as it was meant to be and as it should and can be.



My Grandson and I

Adventures with Friends

It is a known fact in life that we all take many things for granted. I live on a beautiful island but seeing it each day I have gotten accustomed to it's beauty and taking it all for granted. It is when visitors come that I again see my home through fresh eyes.

For the past six weeks I have had adventure after adventure with close friends. It began with a day of kayaking in Maple Bay heading over to Saltspring Island for lunch on the beach. I just soaked up the peacefulness of being out on the water exploring the coast line. It was a great day and a quiet time to connect with friends as we shared in the beauty that surrounded us.



At peace on the water

Next, a trip to Tofino on the west coast and exploring the beach, wading in the waves, laughing and allowing ourselves to play like children on the beach.



Playing like children on the beach

We walked along the beach from one end to the other. Sharing our stories, playing in the waves and laughing in the fun. Although we had known each other for years spending time together along the shoreline and trails deepened our relationship.

Laughter shared amongst friends

The views from the trails were breath taking and I could have stayed for hours watching the waves break against the rocks.


A view from the trail



We took a day trip up island to hike along the coast of Hornby Island to see the amazing cliffs and explore the trails.

The amazing cliffs

Friends with Friends

We geocached along the way and stopped and had lunch enjoying the many different views. Having fun like children is a great way to journey through life. Sometimes we spend too much time being serious and we miss out on many of the joys.

Kids in the tree

Gabriola Island was also on the list of places to explore even though we had been there many times before.Sometimes its important to go back and retrace ones steps and see the changes that have happened since your last visit. One can always find things that may have been over looked before. Again much laughter and fun was shared as we felt freedom in just being together.



Relaxing on the beach



Finding hidden treasurers

We also took a trip to Botanical Beach to see the tidal pools. The pools were deep and full of living creatures, the beach a place to sit and relax and contemplate. Finally heading over to Port Renfrew campground to visit my parents and have dinner with them. Although quite willing and looking forward to it I have to admit a small part of me wanted to keep my friends to myself as our time is limited and wasn't so sure about spending the whole afternoon with family but knew it would still be fun. Spending the afternoon with my parents turned out to be a beautiful gift for me. 




Checking out the pools

 My parents are wonderful people. They love the outdoors and we spent my childhood camping and fishing. Next year they will both turn 80 and yet they still spend two months of every year fishing on the west coast. While raising my children we would go out every summer and spend a weekend with them. I would play cards with my Mom and take the children fishing on the dock or to the beach or to hike the trail while the men went fishing.

For the last ten years I have only made it out there once or twice and both times at least 5 years ago. My children have gone out with their spouses and visited and fished and came home with memories both old and new. Now it was my turn. We went out for a wonderful boat ride, down the river, across the bay and out onto the open waters. It was so wonderful to just connect with creation and laugh with friends as the boat bounced along on the calm waters. We rejoiced in all the beauty that we saw out in the open water.



Gal Pals



Awesome day on the water

I soon realized how much of my parents lives I have been missing these past ten years by not going out there and sharing in their adventures. It is something I need to do. They won’t be able to fish for too many more years as they reach the age of 80 next year. For years I have been taking way too much for granted. Our time here on this planet is so very short that I need to make the most of time and continue to explore and connect with creation either alone or with family and friends. I don’t want to have any regrets. Time is something you can never get back, and time with the people you love is so very important, to me more important than anything else. I'll make sure to get back out here next summer.




Family and Friends, most important in life

These past six weeks have just been amazing.So many adventures that I can't even mention them all, so much laughter and so much fun. Relationships have grown deeper and become more open. Having fun like children brings out the best in us and frees us to be our true selves. We said our goodbyes, filled with good memories, memories that we will cherish and relive until sometime in the future when we meet again.