An Amazing Day for a Farewell

I have been very privileged over these past few years to use my friends' cabin for retreat weekends....a great place to get away from life and just be with creation and God. A time to refresh, renew and re-energize. Each time I walked through the cabin door I have been instantly surrounded by a calming sense of peace. Sometimes I have gone alone and other times taken a friend to share the experience with. I have posted a few blogs on here about my time at the cabin sharing pictures to show how colourful nature is during different seasons.

 Next week the cabin will change hands and new folks will arrive to enjoy the beautiful wooded area and the ocean view so Saturday I once again took the ferry across to Gabriola to say farewell to the cabin and share the day with my friends who had so generously shared their cabin with me.

I left a sunny Nanaimo but as we crossed the water I could see a huge bank of fog surrounding the island and coming our way...Looking forward and then turning and looking back was like being in between two worlds...one warm sunny and  welcoming and one dark and gloomy looking. It made me think of the sadness that would come in saying goodbye, thankfully though, only to the cabin and not to my friends.



The fog surrounding Gabriola

Upon arrival I was fed a lovely pancake breakfast and as I sat there chatting away I surveyed my surroundings remembering all the great times I had spent there, the card games, the puzzles, the night time sharing of stories while tucked in bed, the quiet meditative times of solitude, the wonderful warm fires, the laughter and the meals shared with friends. Looking out the window at the ocean view seeing the ferries going by with the wonderful coastal mountains in the background I couldn’t help but be thankful to be there again.

The morning was spent hiking along my favourite trail, the route I would take each morning from the cabin which took me through the trees, along my favourite rock pathway that looked like it was paved and eventually down to the water. I love to take my shoes off and go and play in the waves and today it was perfect. The skies had cleared, the sun was shining and someone had made a lovely path down to the water through the rocks. Within five minutes I was out in the waves having fun and my friends soon joined me. Though certainly not planned for, having not brought my swim suit, but for reasons beyond my control, I ended up enjoying a lovely refreshing swim as well which caused much laughter, especially for one of us! (Someday I shall get even with him ;).)

My pathway through the trees.

Later while sharing lunch on the deck these huge birds began to fly over our heads swooping down in front of us and amongst the trees. It began with one bird but eventually there were 8 of them. Such wide wing spans, such graceful creatures. It was so peaceful to sit there and watch them. It felt very special to be witness to their flight and gave me a spiritual feeling of awe over creation. lt made the day even more perfect.

Bird in flight

After one more adventure to walk along the rocky beach across from Entrance Island we packed up and headed for the ferry. Before we left I walked around the cabin inside and out...taking it all in and tucking it away in my memory. I was feeling very emotional and sad but with all the good memories and laughter of the day I was able to smile and leave feeling good about life. I have had so many good days and fun times at the cabin and I know there will be more to come...not at that cabin but some other place, some other time there will be weekends of retreats and adventures shared with friends or alone that refresh and spiritually renew. In the meantime I shall be ever thankful and grateful for my kinds friends generousity and willingness to share their sacred space.



Two very special and generous friends.

Thank you my friends, for sharing your home away from home and always making me feel welcome at your special cabin in the woods.





 

Juan de Fuca Part 2

Pics along the trail

We arrived at the southend trail head around 10:30 and off we went hiking through the forest full of lovely cedar trees down towards the beach. The trail was well marked with orange markers.




Peacefulness along the trail

Our first stop was Mystic Beach that had a lovely waterfall. After a quick break and adjustment of packs back up the trail we went.




Beautiful Mystic Beach



Some of the bridges and staircases

After four hours of hiking and doing more climbing that we had thought this part would have we arrived at Bear Beach, a lovely beach with three camping sites. We spent another 30 minutes hiking the beach so that we could stay in the farthest one to be close to the trail head come morning. It was a beautiful little spot and we lucked out and were close to the cache and other facilities.
 


Hiking along Bear Beach

We met up with a young couple from the states that we had seen at the trail head and chatted. I also walked down and talked to two young men from Germany who had come from the other direction. They warned me that tomorrow was a lot of up and down and up and down and loads of mud. I felt strong and knew we could do this, although I admit I was a little concerned.




Our first campsite

Amy and our favourite rock

In the morning we found a mouse had chewed through Amy’s pack and chewed our one towel. My water bottle also had a hole in it, the water flooded the bottom of my pack and part of my shoes. It wasn’t a great start to the morning and when I tried to walk on water well things really needed to improve.

Coming down one of the many cut out log staircases

The hike from Bear Beach to Chin beach was indeed many ups and downs. We would hike up one side of the hill or mountain and then go back down the other side to cross the next creek bed.



Up on top before heading back down

 It took us 6.5 hours to hike the 12 kms and we were quite exhausted by the time we reached the beach. This was another nice beach and we arrived before 3pm so had our pick of sites and grabbed one under some lovely trees with a huge fire pit area. We had a nice fire to keep us warm while we tried to dry out our wet shoes and socks and packs in the sunshine. The weather was great although the wind was chilly. The campsite quickly filled up especially once a group of students arrived. Although we didn’t sleep much from the sound of the waves we awoke in the morning to find all of our belongings intact and after yesterdays fiasco, I sent Amy to wash the dishes so that my feet would stay dry ;)

The view from our tent

Laundry drying after a muddy muddy day

Beautiful little creek where we got our water for the next day

In the morning we headed off around 8 am knowing we had 12kms to hike to Little Kutchie Creek campground. It was marked difficult so we expected it to easier than the day before. However, it really was not. Although we didn’t have to go up and down as often there was more mud on this part and more climbing around tree roots.

One of the many suspension bridges, this one the highest and longest

It's a long way down

Once we found ourselves walking along a lovely ridge deep in the forest. It was so quiet and the ground so soft and red from all the cedar trees.



Up on the ridge with the huge cedars



Waterfall before Sombrio Beach

Heading down to Sombrio Beach

We had lunch on Sombrio beach which was very beautiful.
After walking the beach we once again got back on the trail and headed off. At one point we had to climb up this cliff by pulling ourselves up on a rope. I managed quite well, it wasn’t all that difficult but I could not stand there and watch Amy climb up. The thought of watching her fall was more than I could bare. 

Amy climbing up the cliff

After coming down the other side we found ourselves forced out onto the beach once again. This time I was quite nervous about finding the trail head as in no way did I want to have to back track and go down the cliff on the rope. My fear of heights had kicked in. Thankfully Amy was very wise and kept us going and sure enough there was the trail and we were once again on the right path with only 4 kms now to go. It was our longest day and took us over 8 hours to hike the 12 kms. We were very tired and needed some sleep.  This campsite was in the trees and very dark even though it was only late afternoon. The young couple once again showed up along with another couple going the other direction so there were six of us camped for the night. I hardly slept, but thankfully Amy did.

Camping in amongst the dark forest at Little Kutchie Creek

Our last morning on the trail was great. We were up early and on the trail before 8 am. 14 kms to go! This part of the trail was wonderful. It started off with a few patches of mud but thankfully it was mostly level. We walked along trails through the salal, across boardwalks and bridges and down and up many “staircases”. We each took one tumble that day which gave us some “war wounds” to show our friends.  We also saw a few bits of bear scat so we were ringing our bells as we hiked along. We met people on the trail this day more than any other especially as we neared Botanical Beach.

On the "easy" trail heading for home

It was high tide when we arrived so we headed straight up to the parking lot where Matt our trusting driver met us....it was such a good feeling to have completed all 47 kms, over 24 hours of hiking. I must say I felt a little emotional.


YES we did it!

It was a great four day hike. I had said I would never do it again, but maybe someday I will....or find another trail to hike and camp along. There is such a deep sense of peace out in the wilderness and in the silence, a deep connection with God. It was really amazing and I can’t put into words the sense of belonging to, and awe over all of creation. It gave me a sense of wholeness and an immense feeling of gratitude for life.

Juan de fuca hike

Part 1 – Laughs and  Appreciation

What an adventure! My oldest daughter and I just completed hiking the Juan de Fuca trail, 47 kms along a coastal forested path on Vancouver Island. It was an amazing journey that took courage, strength and tested my endurance. Each night as we tucked into our small tent we would laugh and say how tomorrow would be a better easier day and finally on our last day it actually was. Looking back now it doesn’t seem like it was all that hard but while climbing up and down into creek bed after creek bed, finding our footings up and over massive tree roots after tree roots, trying to balance on chunks of wood, boards or branches to avoid falling into the hundred pits of mud it all seemed more than I had anticipated.

The Adventurers

Laughs, oh yes there were many of those and each night we would lay there chatting that even though the hike was brutal we were still laughing and having fun. The first laugh came over my new hiking poles. Within the first few hours they came apart no less than three times. I obviously had not tightened them up enough and really had little knowledge about them or how to use them...I would be walking along and all of a sudden notice a piece was missing, but they were my life saving piece of equipment. I could never have heaved myself up over all those logs, steps and hills without them. By the second day my daughter also found them useful at times and we shared them as we went along, sometimes finding them a hindrance but mostly very helpful.

On the second morning the biggest laugh of all was when I somehow thought I must be like Jesus and able to walk on water. Camped on the beach I volunteered to go down and rinse out our dishes in the ocean. As I was walking across the seaweed it crossed my mind that I was not walking on solid ground and with each step was sinking a little more into the ocean waters. Did I stop and turn around? Of course not I just kept on going until I was ankle deep, then tried to climb up onto a slimy rock, slipping back into the water once again. Yes during this time I was wearing my hiking shoes. I cried out to my more sensible daughter...I’m all wet. Why, I ask myself was I surprised at this fact? Feeling very stupid, almost to the point of tears, but not wanting to quit the hike I spent the day hiking in one very wet shoe and one very damp shoe.


Bear Beach, the place where I attempted to walk on water.

 

Laughs also came when my daughter slipped off the stump and into the mud for the first time...I of course was already muddy up past my ankles from trying to go around the mud and slipping off the bank down into it all while hearing quiet gasps from my daughter behind me as she watched. My daughter though when slipping off the log just gracefully sat down on the log while her foot sunk into the wet soggy mass of mud below.




Navigating one of the many mud holes

I must say though that the biggest laughs came on our last day. The longest in kms but the easiest of days. While climbing up a gentle slope trying to avoid the mud my daughter slipped off a root and landed sideways laying down thankfully on mossy hard packed earth. With the heavy backpack on she laughed saying “I’m like a turtle,  I can’t get back up” and she really couldn’t. There was no where to put her feet so she laid their curled up laughing. Eventually she was able to remove her pack, unlike the poor turtles, and stand up and reload her pack. Later that day, I missed stepping up onto a boardwalk and fell down on my knees, the weight of my pack pulling me over onto my side and I too was like a turtle laying there making sure I was still all in one piece. Thankfully I was able to roll myself back over and get up once again onto my very tired and sore legs, and yes have a small laugh.

Each night was we watched others enter the campgrounds we would check out their shoes and  legs and each time we realized that we were the muddiest of hikers. We have no idea how the others managed to arrive so dry and clean. Our shoes and legs were always covered in mud, although it was usually dry by the time we camped. By the end of the hike I had decided we were just the cutest muddiest turtles on the trail and could be proud of the fact.

The laughing turtle getting back on her feet :)

I learned so much about myself on this four day journey and so much more about my daughter. This year marks the time that I am twice as old as she is. This hike was a great way to celebrate that and there were times when our roles reversed, where she was the caregiver and the encourager as I became teary and fearful. I saw her strength, realized how calm and level headed she is and very wise and mature. Although I have always been so very proud of her my pride in her has now reached a deeper level and understanding. It also gave me a greater sense of appreciation for nature and life. The creations of God while on the trail and the creations of man upon returning home. I have so much in my life to be grateful for, it is overwhelming. Thank you Amy for a wonderful holiday!

p.s. Could this be the man of my dreams...the tall silent type with a smile?

 

The Winner's Dinner

Just a quick note to update the blog about the challenge I won in May. I must say the chef totally came through with an amazing dinner and we had a wonderful evening celebrating the end of our challenge. I think he definetly made a better second place finisher than I would have. I usually like to win and I have to confess that this month I will probably be down in third or fourth place and maybe that will be good for me. I think I can get too overconfident. This month will be a humbling experience and a necessary one...thankfully there is no challenge on this month (nor will there ever be again) so I won't have to prepare a dinner!
Hats off to the chef...who I really only snuck past by a few points...he was true to his word and came through with a meal to die for.

An awesome meal prepared by an awesome guy!

 

Losing a Winning Challenge

Well the monthly “challenge” ended yesterday with quite surprising results. I won! But did I really? At the beginning of the competition I so wanted to win mainly because, well I like to win but also I have a fear of cooking for people. It’s something I have done very little of and a cooked meal was the prize...cooked of course by the 2nd place person. So for the first three weeks I constantly was on the move...hiking when time allowed and walking in the neighbourhoods more than I would have ever done without something driving me. However by the third week, knowing we were tied and my challenger was going hiking and walking while on holidays, I pretty much accepted my fate. It didn’t help matters that it rained the whole week here in town. I realized how competitive I was when I pulled a pair of what my mother used to call “puddle pants” and went out walking the neighbourhood in the rain. It really was much beyond what I needed to do (although I only won by only a few points so it was a good thing I did go out).  

So once I accepted the fact that I would be second or maybe even third I started to plan for it and thought of funny ways to honour my friend who would win. I dreamed up a few items of embarrassment for him and was all ready to begin implementing them. Rising at 1:30 am to check on his downloaded points knowing how many I had, I was so surprised to see I had sneaked by him and had won. I was also very surprised by my disappointment in winning. Now I would not be able to put into action events that I thought were funny. I also felt rather bad for winning because my friend really is more physically active than I am and in much better physical shape. He is the one who has brought out my desire to hike and be in nature, and if it wasn’t for his encouragement I would never have joined the gym two years ago and be in the physical shape I am in. He has been a role model to me in many ways. He truly deserved to win but he hadn’t because I had become over obsessed with the challenge and done way more than I will ever do again. There should have been more balance. I wonder now how my body will adjust as the physical activity lessens. It probably will not be good.

Exploring with my "teacher" and buddy

This challenge has taught me that winning isn’t everything, it’s what we learn along the way. So many lessons were learned in this month about myself, about my friend and about limits. It also taught me that sometimes there is no joy in the win, although I must confess I have bragged to every single person who knew about the challenge and I did it within hours of winning. I was surprised actually that it didn’t show up on the local news J

I would like to think that if this were to happen again I would handle it differently. I wouldn’t let it control me and I could also be a more graceful winner or happily accept 2nd place. We really were all winners. We all got more exercise than ever, we spent hours outside in nature and saw many beautiful parts of creation, we shared laughs and we learned that even when our better sides aren’t showing we can still love one another.

Would I do it again if challenged? Probably. Would my friend do it again if he was challenged? Maybe.

Would his wife, who had to endure all of our negative behaviours and conversations allow it ...I certainly hope not... she, is very wise. 

 

The soon to be chef, the wise one, and myself

 

Competitions - Harmful or Fun?

Earlier this year while on holidays with friends I had my first taste of geocaching....searching for “treasures” that other folks had hid along trails, in parks, even right downtown. There are caches hid all over the world and thousands of folks spend their time using some form of GPS to find them. I had first heard about geocaching from my children who used the GPS on their phones to go and find a few local ones in the town where they lived. I thought it would be fun but had no idea how to do it. Then on holidays my friends were given a handheld Garmin GPS and the fun began.

My tiniest geo cache find

Now my first week of being home I must say I became totally engrossed in heading out and finding as many as I could, mainly because my competitive nature had kicked in and I wanted to find more than my friends did. I was totally obsessed with it going out every single day for two to three hours at a time. However, my friends went out together - there were two of them and only one of me. I reached the point where I actually was angry at the fact of doing this alone and lost any sense of hope of finding more than they did. The joy of geocaching had disappeared because of my competitiveness and my anger. However, after talking it over I quickly got back on track and continued on and I continue to search for caches every weekend that I am free. The joy of it returned and it once again became fun.

Obsessed and Determined geocacher (could be me)

For over a year now I have been working out at a gym and wearing a device that monitors your activity. You wear it on your waist and get points for movement. These you can download into the gym’s site and see where you rank with others. Now at first it was interesting to see where I fit in with my friends and others at the gym. Over time though I used it to monitor my own activity and set my own goals. My friends didn’t always wear theirs so there really was no competition until “the challenge”. One of my friends challenged me with a prize to the winner. Well once again, within the first week I was angry over not having the time to get these points, and my friend felt we should end the competition. I however continued to compete and became obsessed with being out walking, running etc. It really was ridiculous and not much fun most of the time. Eventually I let go and prepared myself to lose. Once I did that the joy of exercise came back to me. However both of us have noticed how driven we are to get more points. I am doing way more exercise than I would have before. My body aches from climbing hills and running more than my knees want me to.

Hiking and more hiking = Points and more points

Competitions are they good or are they harmful? Are we all so competitive that we push ourselves beyond what we should do and take the fun out of something we usually love. It has been fun this month checking the points site and doing ridiculous things (like running around my livingroom) to stay in first place but when I look back at it I am not so sure it is physically healthy nor healthy for our friendship. I think it brings out the worst in my personality and has me doing more than my body wants to. Yet it has been great getting outdoors more and exercising and it has given us both some laughs. Between these two competitive outdoor adventures I have explored areas I never would have known about, seen new and beautiful  parts of creation and had such good times out in the woods.

Maybe entering in races, competing in community events is a good way to challenge oneself to reach new  levels. However I no longer believe that competitions between friends are ideal. I truly wish I wasn’t so competitive but it seems to be part of who I am. Am I still going to try and win the competition with my friend?  You bet I am...only because I have no self control (and I don’t think my friend does either  :)  Come this Friday one of us will be #1 and the other #2 but we will both be winners. We will have had new adventures, reached new personal goals and learned from the experience but most importantly had lots of laughs, it's a win, win for us all.

Dragonflies

Tomorrow is Palm Sunday, the beginning of Holy Week in the Christian Tradition. It is a day of celebration to reflect on the day Jesus rode into Jerusalem, greeted by the crowds of people who had gathered, waving palm branches to welcome him with joy. It is also known as Passion Sunday and is a day where we begin to prepare ourselves for the loss that we will experience on Good Friday when Jesus was crucified and died.

"The cross" where I spend time reflecting.

 

Each year I try to “live” this Holy Week. I attend all the church services and try to be reflective on Jesus’ life and what he brought to us.  I do this because I have been told that you can’t experience the “Easter”, the resurrection of Christ, without walking through Holy Week and experiencing the death and loss first.  It is true. We have to die before we can experience transformation of new life. Every year I expect and wait with hope for some great change in myself to happen on Easter, to be transformed in some way, but I can’t say I have experienced anything as grand as I have hoped for.

This year is different. A very mystical, spiritual leader and friend is now preparing herself and her family for her death. She is dying, way too soon, way too young, with so many gifts yet to share with us, but life is like that. There is no understanding, there can only be some form of acceptance.

I love the children’s book “Waterbugs and Dragonflies” by Doris Stickney. It tells the story of the waterbugs that live on the bottom of the pond and how every now and then one of them disappears never to return and all the little waterbugs want to know what happens. They all promise to come back and tell the others but of course when they climb to the top of the reed they are transformed into beautiful dragonflies. When they try to return they can no longer enter the pond. It is the story about life, death and life beyond death. Although it gives us no answers to the mystery of what is yet to come it gives us hope of new life.

This past fall with encouragement from my daughter, I went and a got a tattoo...and what did I choose but a dragonfly. These past couple of years I have been drawn to them more and more. They are beautiful insects with amazing abilities. The dragonfly’s agile flight and its ability to move in all six directions shows us a sense of power and poise, something that comes only with age and maturity. The dragonfly can move at an amazing 45 miles an hour, hover like a helicopter fly backwards like a hummingbird, fly straight up, down and on either side and it can do this while flapping its wings a mere 30 times a minute while houseflies need to flap their wings a 1000 times a minute. They are incredible.

This week I sent my “goodbye” to my friend, a woman who has taught me so much about my faith, who brought the feminine side of God to me and shared with me so many meaningful rituals. She has done amazing things with her life, continually learning, growing and most importantly sharing all of her knowledge, faith and experiences with everyone through her ministry, her writings and her living of life. She too is incredible. I have continued to pray for a miracle, they do happen and I need to have hope. This week, with such grace, she has begun this time of letting go, of saying goodbye to her family and friends and I too am slowly letting go. Yet because of her deep spiritual faith and life I can’t keep myself from still hoping for a miracle.

So my journey through Holy Week this year is going to be very different from every other year. Not only will I be preparing myself for the Friday of Jesus’ death, I will also be preparing myself for the grief that will come someday soon when I lose someone I have admired for years but as I prepare, I can’t give up on hope.  The dragonfly’s life is very short yet they are able to do such miraculous things in their brief life, just like my friend has. It means living each moment of life fully, completely and mindfully, making the most of every moment, of every day. It’s something we all need to do, not to waste one precious moment. I try to live a life full of experiences and adventures, to make each day count but I can’t do it without hope for something more to come, for that one miracle...whatever it may be. So I wrote to my friend the other day, telling her that maybe, just maybe that miracle will come after she has journeyed from this life to the next. Maybe she will be that one “dragonfly” that comes back in some spiritual way to let us in on this great mystery of life, of life beyond death. It may sound silly and childish, I should just let go, but I can’t, I have to continue to believe, to dream and to have hope.

A dragonfly I purchased in honour of a woman who has so deeply touched my life.